Written by Ryan Heuer of the ComicBooks.com staff

Comic Book Movie Remakes That Need to Happen

With remakes galore flooding into theaters, the film industry can’t seem to get enough of comic book characters. Spider-Man, after a fairly successful run at the box office (sans Spider-Man 3, of course), is coming to theaters this summer and Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Rises movie is also slated for release this summer. Another Batman revamp is already planned after Nolan’s third movie to fit with DC’s plans to make a Justice League movie. Although primed to be quality films, these remakes of franchises that have already proved their mettle present the question: who will remake the movies for the heroes that actually NEED a remake?  Are our favorite heroes who dropped the ball on the big screen destined to live through history with the shame of having a terrible movie?

 These are the superhero movies that need a really remake.

Ghost Rider

After watching Uncle Rico’s football video, Napoleon Dynamite says, “This is pretty much the worst video ever made.”  He only said that because he hadn’t seen Ghost Rider. With a big star like Nick cage backing Ghost Rider, one might believe that the movie was destined for success. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. How anyone can make a motorcycle riding superhero with a flaming skull for a head seem lame is a mystery, but somehow the team behind Ghost Rider managed to do just that. Then again, Nicolas Cage’s track record has been a bit spotty. He’s a good actor that gets sucked into bad movies (or maybe he’s a bad actor with a few flukes). The sequel, also starring Nick Cage, just dug the franchise into a deeper hole. Marvel needs to stop doing more damage to the Ghost Rider name and redeem the hell-bound hero with a new flick.

Steel

One word: Shaq. Spawned in the middle of Shaq-fever circa 1997—when Shaquille O’Neal thought he could act, rap and star in his own fighting game—Steel was aiming for disaster from the start. Someone should have given Shaq a dose of reality back then and told him to stick to basketball (which he was phenomenal at), or, at the most, just do Icy Hot commercials. The entire movie was littered with poor acting, tongue in cheek references to the fact that Shaquille O’Neal is playing Steel, and a plot that even a five year old child could recognize as poorly stitched together. The only decent thing anyone can really say about this movie is that it wasn’t as bad as Kazaam.

Catwoman

Halle Berry in a tight leather cat outfit? If you were fortunate enough to not see Catwoman you might think this is a good idea, but those who watched the 2004 atrocity know better. This movie seems to have the right components for a solid comic movie— Halle Berry (X-Men, Monster’s Ball), Benjamin Bratt (Law and Order, Traffic) and Sharon Stone (Basic Instinct, Casino) are all solid actors, and Catwoman has proved to be one of DC’s most intriguing “gray” heroes, but alas, this stinker couldn’t be saved.  The plot seems to be a contrived and silly attempt to get Halle Berry into a scantily clad costume. At least the writers had the decency to leave Selina Kyle out of this train wreck and use a new unknown character to become Catwoman.

Howard the Duck

Where can one begin with this disaster? Howard the Duck (the comic) was like a fine aged wine—it had a delightful adult appeal with a deep and rich taste that one could savor. Howard the Duck the movie mimicked a generic grape flavored juice box. Those who aren’t familiar with the comic might be enticed into believing that Howard the Duck is intended for children, with the Donald Duck-esque art work that made the main character seem more like a Disney character than something from the pages of Marvel Comics. Anyone who has read the comic can inform the ignorant that, despite its appearance, this one can’t be judged by its cover. The comic was quirky, fun and had deep, thought provoking undertones. The movie had none of these qualities. It’s another case of Hollywood grabbing a concept and saying, “Hey! Let’s take this great idea, take away most of the stuff that makes it fun and unique, add some car chase scenes, and voila!” Howard the Duck should never have been made, but now that it’s out there, the feathered comic hero needs a redemption befitting the quirky character.

Tags: Comic Book Movies