Judge, 1929-01-19 · page 24 of 36
Judge — January 19, 1929 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story mocks aggressive 1920s-era sales tactics and the "hard sell" mentality. Morrie Selzer is a stereotypical high-pressure sales manager who rudely dismisses everyone and focuses obsessively on work. The humor lies in the comeuppance: a college student visits seeking a subscription sale to fund his education. Selzer, initially dismissive, listens to an absurdly overwrought pitch combining professional jargon, emotional manipulation ("think of my mother, the flag"), and literary pretension (Rudyard Kipling with introductions by Gertrude Stein and Walt Whitman). The joke's payoff: the student reveals he's also working his way through school via subscriptions. Selzer buys, and both characters recognize their shared hustle. The satire targets not just high-pressure sales methods but also the commercialization of education and the desperation of working-class college students forced into door-to-door sales.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| | ! An Incident in the Life of “Sale-a-Minute Selzer” Morrie Selzer, the high-pow- ered sales-manager of the Whatzit Mfg. Co., breezed into the office at 9.30. "Hello, saps!” he called gayly to the office force. Then turning to Miss Information at the tele phone, he said, “Listen, Ennui, 1 gotta lotta work to get out this morning, see, so don't be letting nd anybody in to sce me, see that means book-sellers, sec Miss Information saw without looking up from her desk, and Mr. Selzer seeing that she saw vanished into his olfice. A half an hour passed, during which time Mr. Selzer figured out a cross-word puzzle His reverie was broken by a man in the doorway. “Well, what do you want?’ “It's a very personal matter, Mr. Selzer,” said the individual. “If IT may sit down for a minute I think you'll be glad I came.” “All right, but sit down fast and get up quicker,” came snap- pily from the sales-manager. The visitor sat down and began to talk. “You see it’s this way, Mr. Selzer. I'm working my ...” ‘Way through college.” inter- rupted Selzer, “and if I get more subscriptions to the Plumbers’ Weekly Nimrod than anyone else in the competition I get an added bonus of $500. Not only that, we have a wonderful proposition. You ean get the Plumber's Nim- rod, The Glass Blower’s Gust, and Child Hygiene all for a year for only 2.85, and to make Casev—Fer a nickel I'd give ye a good sock in the j McGrecor—Don’t be extortionate, mon—I'll giv cents and not a penny more! “Well, there's one advantage in living on a hill in the winter time. I don’t need to walk down to the station every morning.” the proposition more interesting we are giving away this beauti- fully bound set of Rudyard Kipling with an introduction by Gertrude Stein, a preface by Walt Whitman and an appendix by the Mayo Brothers. You can't afford to overlook this wonderful Moroceo offer, and if you'll only think of my mother. the flag, and higher education, you'll understand how — neces sary it is for you to have all this literature in your home. I feel I am not saying too much when I ask you to help me get my Ph. D. and at the same time service and aid your little ones by making the finest works of American literature accessible to them.” Mr. Selzer stopped for breath. “TM take the subscription,” said the visitor, “and I hope you get through college, Mr. Selzer; you see, I’m doing the same thing and I know how hard it is.” “Thanks,” said Mr. Selzer, pocketing the $2.85. “And if any of your friends are working their way through school taking sub: scriptions, send them in and I'll help them out the same way I helped you.” —Carrott Carroii comicbooks.com