Judge, 1929-02-09 · page 31 of 36
Judge — February 9, 1929 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is **primarily advertising** for Dentyne chewing gum, occupying the right half with a large product pitch ("It keeps teeth white...and smile!") featuring a smiling woman's photograph and the product package. The left side contains three unrelated humor pieces typical of Judge's satirical content: 1. **"Do Not Accept Strange Candy, Girls!"** — A rambling anecdote about Broadway theater history, seemingly mocking overwrought storytelling itself. 2. **"Men Were Deceivers Ever"** — Three brief jokes about deception: a woman tricked about her fiancé's prison sentence, and haggling over horn prices. Standard period humor about dishonesty and marriage. 3. **Bottom cartoon** — A domestic joke: a wife tells her husband a plumber can't arrive until afternoon, but notes his current activity (unclear from image) is "quite sufficient" for now—likely implying he's doing inadequate household repairs. The page reflects early 20th-century Judge: mixing satirical commentary with commercial advertising, and featuring light domestic/social humor rather than political content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Do Not Accept Strange Candy, Girls! (Continued from page 5) man porter for years before go x inte the glazier business and turally knew thousands of odd | romances. His head crammed full of plots, Shadwell sped back to Broadway and launched the first | d/les sprachung boom-boomfilm (the first all-talking sound film), ’s Trish Rose.” It had an ate success and rar nd seventy-six ye adway and eleven years on the side streets. [can still: re call my grandfather whistling. its theme ‘Abie’s Trish Rose, while beating my Two weeks later (that is, two weeks after my grandfather beat my grandmother) “The Capulets, the Montagues, and the Greeks,” a problem play, opened. problem was easy. There were no chairs in the theatre and the audience got tired of standing up for three hours. So they went home. Nobody had any’ money to buy chairs. So the show closed. No tessy padlocks, no prying play juries, just a nice clean flop | that you could take a child of thrce to see and your face would not burn with shame, Well, there is the whole story i nuptial. As you can see. if ith had got the letter announe- ing Fred’s marriage to the Queen of the Bob o' Links, she would not have told Jake Cabell about | the collapsible bathtubs in the haunted house. And if Jake Ca bell had not gone to the haunted house, -he never would — have thought of the plot for “Jurgen” and he probably never would have written it. And that, children, would have been just TOO bad. would it not? —Prneiman Men Were Deceivers Ever “Wot, goin’ to marry Bert. and | ‘im done five years in jail? “Oh, the ‘ound; ’e told me it was only thre —Pransox’s Weexny (London) McDougall—W hat are chargin’ for those horns up there? ler—Seven guineas, sir. 2 awfu’ di “No, sir, they're off a buffalo!” —Tir Bits Everybody likes a winning smile! Success and popu- larity always seem to fol- low, too! Andit’syourteeth that make or mar your smile. Never let them grow dull — be proud to show them in your smile. Chew delicious Dentyne every day — it’s the gum that keeps teeth gleaming white. You'll love the fla- vor, and Dentyne is the highest quality chewing gum made today! ENTYNE ..and smile Hesnann—IWell? Isn't that wretched plumber coming? Wire—He said he couldn't until this afternoon, but that what you were doing was quite sufficient for the time being. Hesonist / comicbooks.com