Life — January 25, 1929 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Dr. Buzzvine’s Secret By Myrtle Oliver Inspiration caught Margery Kane be- tween the eyebrows. She hurried to her husband. “Listen, John,” she said, “we can pull this off yet—if we're good. Introduce Otto by some other name. Tip him off he’s sup- posed to be a lecturer or something. We an get away with it—father’s pretty dumb, you know.” “Yes,” said John, “I know.” His wife gave him a look. He went out into the garden and found his friend. He said: “Otto, you're a lecturer.” “When you say that, smile,” said Otto, i is glass. said John, “you've got to help. Margery’s father’s coming for dinner. She wants him to think you're a lecturer. Do n't mind if he thinks I’m a horse ” said Otto pleasantly. “What shall b .” said John, “bees is great.” Then he went in to his wife. “He says he'll talk about bees.” Margery Kane had her doubts, but felt she could do no more. Ever since she and John had eloped she'd been trying to avoid situations like this. Penniless, they had gone to her father for his blessing. He’d given them five thousand dollars and said that if for one year they lived an ordered EXTRA, EXTRA— SEE LIFE NEXT WEEK life, kept out of debt and made solid, sub- | stantial friends he'd take John into his firm. Once before she'd faced a crisis when John had almost blown the works by coming in blotto while her father was visiting them. That time she'd saved the day by putting him to bed (which was difficult) and making him pretend to be sick (which wasn’t). She knew if her father caught on to the fact that Otto Harbuck, millionaire, sportsman, and no- torious souse, was her husband's best friend it would put the kibosh on the whole business. The bell rang. She opened the door. General Flasker, pompous, grey beavered, red faced, stomped into the room. “Well, Margery?” he boomed so loudly that the bottles hidden under the sofa rattled. “Been behaving yourself? John been behaving himself? By God, you look well!” “Thank you, father. I'm so glad you could come tonight.” “Why tonight? Why not last night? Or some other night? By God why tonight?” Margery ran her hand up his spine, causing him to squirm as only generals can. “Because,” she said, “one of John’s friends is here and I so much wanted you to meet him so you‘could see the sort of people who come to our house.” The terrace door opened and John came into the room. Behind him came Otto Harbuck, looking just a little foolish with his trousers rolled way up and a hastily improvised butterfly net in his hand. “General Flasker,” said John, “I want you to meet my friend, Doctor Buzzvine.” “We've been beeing,” said Otto, wav- ing his net. “Do you bee at all?” “Hell, no!” said the General, looking momentarily alarmed, “I’m a_ business man.” Then he turned to his daughter— “What does he mean anyway?” Margery laughed. “He's a very well known lecturer, daddy.” She lowered her voice; “and one of John’s best friends.” Dinner passed off better than Margery had dared hope it would. There had been only one crise when Otto, having dis- sertated steadily on bees since the soup, suddenly turned to the General and in a gallant effort to be polite said: “T say, General, have you got hives?” Marg-zy had gasped and the General had clutched his waist as though expect- ing to find a sword there, which didn’t fool anybody. He had scratched some throughout the rest of the meal, but the deception had been complete. Almost.tear- ful with gratitude she had said good- night to Otto and cosied her father along for another hour, while John played opera records on the Victrola. As he rose to go, General Flasker called his daughter aside: “By God, Margery,” he said, “can’t you get John to knowing some people who'd do him some good? This Professor bird was all right, but he won't help you get ahead.” “Why daddy!” “T’'ve been trying for two months to mect a man who lives up here. Want to sell him a paper mill. Does John help me? By God no! He cultivates a butterfly booster!” “Whom do you want to meet, daddy? John might know him.” “John?” said the General. “By God, imagine John knowing Otto Harbuck!” comicbooks.com