Life — February 15, 1929 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Comes the time of the year when the young blood gushes forth poctic utter- ances and lacey sentiments in the shape of bleeding hearts and valentines.... which places one in somewhat of a pickle ..in fact, a fickle pickle....in fact, a pickle of the Heinz type with 57 (count em) varieties how, we ask you, can one send messages of undying faith to one’s own true love when one cannot make up one’s mind whether it be Bobbe, Bunny, Betty, Babs, Irene, Gloria, Greta, Gladys, etc. ete. etc....how can one aw, shut up! But, to coin a new phrase, “Love will find a way,” and thus, in the public prints do we pen our message, our pzan of passion, our valentine....To whom it may concern® My ardent feelings here I let out I love you, Dearest, like all get-out!** *All points west. **Get out yourself! Having introduced the novel idea of the Open Valentine, let us, by all means con- tinny....To L 738 J Bs To an Old Bootlegger of Mine Your liquor’s like our friendship Tried and true And do you dilute either? In your rye you do! Speaking of Hockey, this very very pop- ular sport is getting entirely too high hat looking around at the crowd at Madi- son Square Garden you begin to suspect that you have wandered into Otto Kahn's Opry house by mistake. . .and if the Rang- ers should suddenly burst into song you’d be convinced of it and think you were witnessing the sextette from Rigoletto if there is such a thing. about it...the Hockey teams will simply have to dress up to their audience or de- velop an_ inferiority complex... which would make the game even more interest- ing... penalties could be imposed on play- ers losing their top hats or getting their | shirt fronts soiled. . dressing up the play- ers would also eliminate much of the roughness of the sport....what uncouth person, even a Ranger, could be hard hearted enough to trip up an opponent in | full dress? As Society seems to be taking up spor in earnest this idea could be extended even further....why shouldn't _ prize fighters also dress after six?.. and their seconds. . .and the referee. to say noth ing of Joe Humphries!... picture Paolino and Sharkey squaring off in evening clothes!...and the referee admonishing them “Remember, Gentlemen, no striking below the waistcoat!” Manna-Apout-Town.... The bright bird | who beat Grover Whalen’s one-way pede There’s only one thing that can be done | trian traffic by walking backwards... The Showboat players at the Belmont. ..the vendor at Madison Square Garden who puts a “stick” in his White Rock bottles -“Lady Fingers” at the Vanderbilt... the midnight show of “Blackbirds” Irene Bordoni at Club Richman... We ter Winchell’s monday column in the Graphic (Ah, there, Walterl).. Rudy Vallee and his orchestra at New Venice. .. the Casanova Grover Whalen From Us Pedes- trians The Rose is red, the Violet's blue And so is the air when we talk about you! To Texas Guinan We'd rather take quin- ines Than go to ‘Texas Guin- ine’s, Club... Shir- ley Vernos singing “Lets Talk About You Hubert's Museum on 42nd Street. riding a tm down Eighth Avenue — better than Bumping the Bumps # Coney Walter O'Keele singing “Frankie and Johnny at Be- neys. Beau Jeste. comicbooks.com ys eos cc oo