Life, 1929-03-08 · page 14 of 44
Life — March 8, 1929 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **"There's Nothing Like Seeing the Cheerful Side"** (left): A humorous dialogue between a plumber and homeowner dealing with a kitchen leak. The plumber offers deliberately absurd "solutions" (using a canoe, goldfish, building an ark) rather than actually fixing the problem. The joke satirizes how some service people avoid real work through charm and deflection. **"The Malefactor"** (right): A poem by Arthur Guterman lamenting modern regulations and social constraints. The speaker complains he cannot park, cross streets, buy books, or act freely without violating some code or law—suggesting satirical frustration with increasingly bureaucratic society and loss of personal liberty. Both pieces reflect early-to-mid 20th-century anxieties about modern inconveniences and governmental overreach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“There's Nothing Like See- ing the Cheerful Side” “Well, old man, that’s quite a leak you've got here in the kitchen pipe, isn't it? Is there anything I can do to help? . . . No? Oh, your wife's already called the plumber. I hope he didn’t forget to hang up. Ha.Ha. I guess the only thing to do is just wait and be cheerful until he gets here. Why don’t you just hold your finger in the leak instead of trying to stop it with that rag? Like the fellow in Holland. I suppose they call that the Dutch treatment. Ha. Ha. Ha, “My yoodness, your getting quite a bit of water on that floor, aren't you? How about putting the goldfish in it? They might drink some of it up. “If we only had a canoe now we could have a dandy time. Canoeing race in the Pratt kitchen. Maybe we'll be able to float the canoe upstairs, We've got locks on the doors. Ha. Ha. Pretty good, ch? Well, we'll just be cheerful and make the most of it. That's what [ always say: You might as well see the bright side of things, Say if it were a little colder in here wouldn't we have the dandiest skating? Wouldn't that be a scream, eh? “Gosh, but you look funny! No kidding, if this flood gets any worse welll have to build an ark. Say! (glub) don't hold my head under water like that! You might drown m— uuuuuug.” Parke Cummings. The man who never did anything right decides to end it alll The Malefactor In youth my course was plain and straight, I trod the path of rectitude; But now I mourn an evil state Of profligate senectitude. For while I nurse no base design Whereof my heart is sensible, Each well-intended move of mine Is somehow reprehensible. The juice of grape upon my shelf In error undeniable Has alcoholified itself For which, I fear, I’m liable. I cannot park my motorcar ‘ And toot its horn euphonious Without committing acts that are Deplorably felonious. I cannot trip across the road Without an illegality That violates the changeful code Of my municipality. And, buy a book or see a show (Unless of safe antiquity), And T'll be doing something low Encouraging iniquity. I have no wish tor wicked ways Selfconscious or subliminal; Oh, give me back my sinless days! I hate to be so criminal! Arthur Guiterman. “James, straighten that picture.” comicbooks.com