Life — March 22, 1929 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Night Watch EING of a very curious turn of mind, I recently spent twenty six (count em) nocturnal hours watching fifteen or twenty dirty bicy- clists pedaling monotonously around a saucer track in Madison Square Gar- den and wondering why in Heaven's name people, including myself, went to Bike races... unable, at the begin- ning of the twenty seventh hour, to solve the problem in my own mind 1 decided to turn inquiring reporter and ask six people . . . the first one I tackled was a debutante who happened to be sitting next to me and when I inquired in a carefully modulated voice, “Why do you go to Bike races?” the gel answered “Be- cause they're just too thrilling!” and stifled a yawn! « next I sprung my question on a dinner coated bird who was in the act of pouring the contents of a bottle into a paper cup ... he looked at me with a dazed expression and muttered “Ye Gods, I dunno!” ... the next four were equally satisfactory which left me with a net result of zero! Came the Dawn! At this stage of the game. the be- ginning of the twenty-eighth hour, I was muttering incoherently to myself and my eyes were developing a wild glare... control yourself, Man! . .«there’s a reason for everything! «+. give me another hot dog, Boy, and a bottle of White Rock! . . . here are fifteen thousand people gazing at what is obviously a lot of hooey, cheer- ing sprints that are all “fixed”, losing good sleep over a spectacle that has as much sportsmanship in it as a Sharkey-Stribling fight, and paying out money for a show that would have made P. T. Barnum's mouth water . +. just at that moment (4.50 A. M. Eastern Standard Time) when I was about to rush madly out and write Doctor Cadman, a great light suddenly dawned on me and I jumped to my fect with a shrick of triumph... I had it! ... at last I knew why peo- ple went to Bike races! ... they hated to go to bed! The Dark Secret The average New Yorker, and again I include myself, hates to go to bed for some reason... he will seize upon any pretext that will keep him out until dawn .. . in most cases this is prob- ably an inhibition, yes, and again | include myself, that goes back to child- hood and a fear of the dark . . . then there is also the playboyish feeling that you are missing something when you are asleep... haven't you (yes, you know you have!) resolved firmly to be in bed by one o'clock so that you will arise bright-eyed and fresh in the morning, and then lie there sleepless and think of all the people that are up and doing things and the fun that you are missing! We Never Sleep! Which suggests a novel idea... why not a Sleep Walking School which would teach sincere Stay-outs the art of Somnambulism? . . . inthis way they could rest while they run and never go to bed! Prize Story On the opening night, a young West- chesterite asked his wife if she minded if he went down to the bike race .. . being a nice wife, she said “No, of course not”... he returned a week later and said “Gee, it was a swell race!” East Side, West Side, All Around The Town or Here, There and Everywhere . . . Anne Sutherland, erstwhile well known ac- tress, has opened a “Ham and Egger” at 7th Ave. and Christopher and is “piling them in.” . . . Anne does her own cooking and the “Ham and” is swel tor | ond 42nd The on 8 pictu lanl you’ Taxi “Wh the ¢ fares playe Guin j ble o oe | Yes, Ma Bike exerci night | so he | The | nue foolec of lic | both mind rum comicbooks.com