Life — April 12, 1929 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa.—Mash from wines, beer and liquor are clog- ging the sewers of Punxsutawney, ac- cording to Frank Boney, street com- missioner. Ten barrels of mash were removed from one sewer, Boney said. NEW YORK—Miss Christine Bloch won first prize in a dress-design con- test. with a garment that cost only $8.63. Now, you tell that to the wife! LANCASTER, Pa.—On account of the complaints of customers, the trol- ley company has ordered its motor- men and conductors to cease whistling while on duty. “You men are car op- crators, not canaries,” said the official edict. NEW YORK—Dr. Cadman was asked how one could induce a girl to stop smoking. He said, “Remind her that she loses charm when a cigarette invades the sacred precincts of her coral lips and pearly teeth.” GIRARD, Kan.—Haldeman-Julius, scent Blue Book King, decided to jazz up his Shakespeare sales, by brighten- ing the names of the plays. He changed “Macbeth” to “The Murder Racket”, “Romeo and Juliet” to “Pas- sions Storm,” ete. NEW YORK—Dead or alive, a human form that enters the United States must have a landing card, ac- cording to a decision by Judge Cline in the Customs Court yesterday. The problem arose when six skele- tons were imported for use in schools by the International Forwarding Com- pany of Chicago. The company protested. Skeletons Were exempt, it said. They were dead. The court said: “That's no excuse. Skeletons must have cards just like everybody else.” PHILADELPHIA—A Franklin Me- morial Museum will be founded here on a new principle—that all the ap- pliances may be operated by the visi- tors. Now, if these exhibits would only include an old-fashioned bar! PITTSBURGH—The Hall candy warehouse is opposite the McKelvey Public School. Recently the children discovered it had been left unlocked. Police had to be called to get them back to their class rooms. ATLANTIC CITY—The average contribution to the church plate on Sunday is only five cents, according to figures presented at the promotional conference of the Federal Council of Churches of Christ in America. New Jersey was first with 12.2 cents and New York second with ten cents. CHICAGO—Mrs. Michael Burke, who is seeking a divorce from a police- man, complains that his velvety com- plexion is altogether too costly; she avers that he has spent more than half of his salary on powder, perfume and cold cream. No wonder Chicago gunmen are so fearless. “The sandwich man gets fitted for a new suit of clothes.” CHICAGO—Mrs. Victoria Tultnic hit Truant Officer Thomas McCarthy with a bullet fired through the door when he called at her home to find out why her children were not in school. “Oh, my mistake,” she gasped, lowering her revolver as McCarthy stumbled in. “I thought you were my husband.” VISALIA, Cat.—Alleging her hus- band’s affection had been transferred from herself to a cat, Mrs. Emily Mon- toya filed suit for divorce from Vincent J. Montoya. The plaintiff alleges that with the advent of the cat into their home, marital bliss vanished. She charged that the husband refused to allow her to remove the cat from the bed where he slept with the animal in his arms. NEW YORK—A. S. Eddington says the sun is a mediocre star, and that many other stars give 10,000 times as much light as it does. Always be- litdlin'! COLUMBUS—Because her husband would not allow her to kiss him for fear that the kisses might spoil the shape of his lips and ruin his career as a trumpet player, Mrs. Enid Eben- hoch was granted a divorce in the Court of Domestic Relations. NEW HAVEN, Conn.—Prohibition in this country has killed in France the movement against alcohol, which was strong and widespread before the war, says Prof. Bernard Fay, French writer on Anglo-French relations, in an article published in the Yale Review. CHICAGO—Theodore W. Bunte, candy baron, offers statistics to prove that the average woman eats twelve times her weight in candy before she dies! comicbooks.com