Life, 1929-05-17 · page 22 of 52
Life — May 17, 1929 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century social awkwardness and absurdity. **Top cartoon**: A cop with "spring fever" has forgotten what he's supposed to be doing—commentary on seasonal distraction and workplace laziness. **"Life's Little Ironies"**: A rambling monologue by a man dispensing unsolicited, contradictory baldness "cures" (goose grease, turpentine, alum, sulphur, lard, X-ray lamps, brown sugar, iodine, vinegar, cod liver oil) to an uncomfortable bald man. The satire ridicules both quack remedies and the social rudeness of commenting on someone's appearance—the speaker boasts about his own hair inheritance while offering dubious folk treatments. **"First Tennis Player"**: Two boys fighting while their father observes approvingly, saying it's "unfortunate" but at least they're "observing the traditions." This mocks parental attitudes that view violent masculine competition as character-building tradition worth preserving despite the harm. All three pieces target social pretension and illogical behavior with dry humor typical of early Life magazine satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Cop (with spring fever): “Ho hum. Now what was it we were doin’?” Life’s Little Ironies “Say, old man, anybody ever tell you you're getting bald? Kind of a tough break because you're only about thirty- eight, ain’t you? Thirty-two, huh. Well hot or cold, the old hair ain't what it used to be in back. Why don’t First Tennts Prayer: It’s unfortunate that our sons should come to blows, but at least they're observing the traditions. you do something about it? Goose grease and turpentine might help you. I'm not kidding. Just rub some all over your head every hour or so and in six months or so you'll notice a lot of difference. Tell you what else ain't bad. Powdered alum, sulphur and lard. Just massage your head for a few hours every day. Then, smear on a lot of that junk and it can’t miss. The wife’s uncle knows a guy who had a brother-in-law who was almost bald ten years ago. They say he’s got so much hair now, he’s tripping over it—all from using alum, sulphur and lard. He took some kind of hair treat- ments beside. You know, one of them X-ray lamps or something. Why don't you do that? It don’t take much time —only a couple of hours a day. Thank Pete, I ain't never going to be bald. Have to get a hair cut almost every week. I inherited it from my old man. He's seventy-nine years old and: got a mop of hair on him like a sheep dog. Well, have to be running along. Glad I ran into you, Ed. Take care of that bald spot or the flies'll be using your dome for a toboggan. Brown sugar, iodine, vinegar and cod liver oil, mixed up together, would do your hair a lot of good.” —Robert Lord. comicbooks.com