Life, 1929-08-02 · page 2 of 40
Life — August 2, 1929 — page 2: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily a **carbonated beverage advertisement** disguised as humorous editorial content, a common early-20th-century marketing technique. The illustrated narrative features **Columbus** as the central figure, discussing his voyage and New World discoveries with a cabin boy. Columbus dismisses America as a "washout," but after sampling "a wondrous sparkling beverage," he declares it a genuine treasure—endorsing bottled carbonated drinks as superior to the landscape itself. The satire mocks **nationalist pride** and **tourism** by suggesting fizzy drinks are more valuable than actual geographic discoveries. The joke plays on the absurdity of prioritizing commercial products over exploration achievements. The ad concludes by encouraging readers to stock their homes with "bottling carbonated beverages," framing them as family luxuries worth collecting, similar to the "precious stones and radios" mentioned in Columbus's final declaration.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SPARKLING MOMENTS in the HISTORY OF BOTTLED CARBONATED BEVERAGES *Let’s load the boat with real treasures” shouted Columbus, .as he quaffed the bubbling beverage “Oh, well, I just came for the ride,” Columbus epaeined to the second cabin boy, “but I must say I’m a little disappointed in America. there is to it. If I do say so myself, old Chris Colombo is a pretty good judge of these bottled concoctions.” That’s what comes of taking those tourist folders seriously.” “But, sire, this new land isn’t an entire washout,” responded the cabin boy. “I have but a moment hence sampled a wondrous spark- ling beverage, the delight of these natives, and behold it has left me feeling fit as a sea lion,” "Well, why didn’t you say so be- fore?” stormed Isabella’s Boy Friend. “Send up a case and we'll see what # Qi o/ y, / (2) / , Te was aftet the third bottle that , columbus gave his verdict. Alt hands to_the hold,” he thunderéd, “throw out the/precious stones and radios. Bring’ on those cases of / bottled carbonated beverages. Let’s load the boat with some real treasures!” And that reminds us to remind you to load the family, ice-box with those bubbling bottled beverages, ottled oe aN \ fod) Vv everaves by evage BOTTLER ee THERB’S A IN YOUR TOWN comicbooks.com