Agnes, or, Beauty and Pleasure — page 332: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

834 AGNES; OR, BEAUTY ANP PLEASURE. ¥ - OOOO LI account; but it is because I tremble with appre- hension lest his happiness should have been com- promised by wedding her—that quadroon lady— who came across the suas to seek him a “ But in reference to yourself, Winifred,’’ said Mr. Dalbam, “do you not feel that you still love your cousin Gustavus P” ** Yes, as a cousin,” she responded; “or as a sister might love a brother : but—but’’—she hesi- tated for a moment, and then she added with firm- ness, “‘ But all other love has ceased to exist within me towards Gustavus Barrington!” “‘ Winifred, is this possible ?”’ exclaimed Roderick Dalham, in a tone which thrilled with joy. “Tt is true, sir,’ answered Winifred. “I think you know me well enough to be convinced that I am incapable of falsehood P” “Yes, yes, Winifred—I know that you are in- capable of all deceit !—and the natural frankness of your character constitutes not the least of those good qualities which have charmed me. But let me continue my own explanation. I have said that it was on the sixth of November si “ The day after the trial,’’ added Winifred softly, “ when you saved my life!” ‘*7t was on the sixth of November,” continued Dalham hastily, “ that I offered you my hand, and you refused me. Precisely one month afterwards —it was the sixth of December, Winifred—Ohb, I remember it well!—I met you in Aldersgate Street. We walked arm-in-arm together, as we are walking now; and I again asked you to accom- pany me secretly to the altar. I besought you to become my wife in all honour though in privacy ! You did not refuse me then, Winifred,” continued Dalham; “ but you asked for time to reflect upon aH I had told you. You asked fora day or an hour: I bade you take a day or a week ;—and then you said to me—and I remember that your voice was low but firm, ‘ To-morrow at this time my decision shall be made known. Meet me here!’ —It was thus you spoke,” ** Yes,” said Winifred: “I remember full well if was in those terms that I spoke. And—and Mr. Dalham, on the following day I was there —true to the appointment—on that very spot where we had parted !” “And I was mot there, Winifred,” exclaimed Dalham ; “and I am about to tell you why I was not there! Oh, you have already assured me that you did not regard if as a slight nor as an out- rage—that you did not take offence thereat—but on the contrary that you knew there must be some good reason for what I did:—and you were right, Winifred! Yes, I had a good reason! Listen with attention. If I had met you on the following day, you would have made known your decision. If that decision were to be a negative, I knew that it would pain you infinitely to give it; and therefore I was anxious to save you that affliction. But if on the other hand it was an affirmative which you were prepared to proclaim, | then I thought to myself that it would only be the generous sacrifice of your feelings to a sense of gratitude. I remembered that you had told me how I had saved your life, and that therefore you were ready to lay down that life for my sake; and I thought that even that very assurance itself conveyed a species of prayer that I would use my power generously and magnanimously. But this was not all, Winifred. Do you recollect the dis. course which we held together on that last occa- sion when we met—that 6th of December, which date seems to have been so strongly impressed upon the memory of us both? I told you that I had only very recently obtained an insight into my father’s affairs, and I had discovered that if by the law’s decree he should be compelled to sur- render up the estates which he had so long en- joyed, ruin would stare him in the face—which ruip, as a natural consequence, would redound upon me! Do you remember, Winifred, that I told you all this ?” “Good heavens, Mr. Dalham!” she murmured, shuddering perceptibly with her feelings of afflic- tion, “is it possible I could have forgotten any- thing which so nearly concerns yourself? No, no! I have never ceased to think of it; and when at the time 2 “Listen to me, Winifred,” interrupted Dalham, “and hear me tothe end. WhenI told you of this discovery which IE had made of my father’s perilous circumstances and uncertain fortunes, I used it as an argument to induce you to bestow your hand upon me. I knew that the lawsuit must speedily be decided: I therefore said to you, ‘If it result in my father’s favour, you will in due time be enriched through me, should I become your husband: but if on the other hand it result in your grandfather’s favour, I shall continue rich through you, if you become my wife.’—It was thus that I spoke to you; and it was then that you told me your decision should be given on the morrow. But when we separated I thought to myself that my conduct had not been just or generous towards you. I said to myself, ‘I am not dealing properly with Winifred; I am en- deavouring to coerce her into an alliance with me. I know the gratitude of her heart; and I am ap- pealing strongly unto it. Circumstances have given me a power and an influence over her; and Iam using that power ungenerously—lI am ex- erting that influence selfishly. If I meet her to- morrow to hear her decision, and if she say No, it will pain her infinitely to breathe that word from her lips: and if on the other hand she say Yes, *twill be a syllable spoken with the sense of self- sacrifice and self-martyrdom.’—Therefore, Wini- fred, I did not keep the appointment. God knows how it pained me to forego the chance of happi- ness which perhaps might have been within my reach: but yet I was resolved to perform the more generous part—I would not coerce you into an union with me!” There was silence for nearly a minute—for Winifred knew not what answer to make to these explanations which she had just received: she knew not indeed whether they were intended as a final settlement of the entire question to which they alluded, or whether that question being altogether reopened, might necessarily and natu- rally elicit comment from her tongue. “IT was swayed likewise by other considerations in the course which I then adopted,” at length re- sumed Roderick Dalham. “I said to myself, ‘Perhaps Winifred will think that I am now in- fluenced by selfish motives: she may suppose that as the result of the lawsuit may possibly beggar my father, I am seeking to take care of myself by marrying into the very family to whose hands GComilcbooks om