Alfred; or, The Adventures of a French Gentleman — page 221: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

188 ALFRED; OR ADVENTURES feelings and sensibility. As she drew near to the spot where De Rosann was standing, stupified at the remarkable change ten minutes had been sufficient to work in the manners and the aspect of that young lady, she endeavoured to smile; but the attempt was as vain as the essay of a departing sinner to assume a look of placid felicity or fearlessness. Alfred uttered not a word—he was too much shocked at the sad spectacle, to break a silence that appeared solemn and sacred. Selina noticed his embarrassment, and felt it her duty to terminate a scene that had betrayed her secret soul to him whom she tenderly loved. ‘©M. De Rosann,” said she in a low voice, ‘“‘ you must pardon and forget the events of this morning. It 1s useless for me to attempt to extenuate my folly by paltry excuses or subterfuges. Were | a child of sixteen or seventeen, I should probably think it incumbent upon me, and only consistent with female delicacy, to deceive you as to the causes of my past emotions. But the age of frivolity has gone by: you have always treated me more as the sensible woman, than the vain and coquettish girl: it is in the former light that I desire to be now regarded, and that I mean to express my sentiment. Listen for five minutes—I shall not detain you long—and then let us drop a veil over the occurrences of this morning, henceforth and tor ever ea ‘“©Q! Selina—Miss Robson—have I then been the imnocent cause of filling your heart with sorrow !” exclaimed our hero, tears run- ning down his cheeks, for he could not contemplate the marble features of that once happy gil without emotion. ‘“¢Nay— Alfred—do not reproach yourself. Tam alone to blame _-and this confession of my weakness shall be my punishment. I have loved you, M. De Rosann—loved you from the first moment we met. Till I saw you, my heart had never known that passion | and at first | was unaware of its presence, still less of its ravages. I loved you—and a thousand innocent familiarities, which your position, as an intimate friend to the family, allowed you to prac- tise, were foolishly perverted by my disordered imagination into proofs of a reciprocal regard. Did you press my hand by accident —did you call me by my Christian name in a moment of mirth—! immediately fancied your forgetfulness or absence to be signs of a tenderness mutually felt. ’T'was thus I deluded myself—’twas thus I nourished a flame to consume me—to devour my poor heart—to destroy my peace—to rob me of rest—to plant thorns in my path: and it is here, here,” she added, placing her hand upon her breast, ‘that the serpent gnaws—that the flame burns—and that the un- seen worm preys upon my vitals!” ‘s Selina—O Selina! am I the cause of this?” ‘¢Yes—but unintentionally so: and when once I shall have unburthened my mind to you, De Rosann, I shall experience a certain peace —a repose which my lacerated heart requires. In all this I can attach no blame to you—’tis my own perverse destiny that has thus taught me to experience the miseries as well as the joys of life. Do you think that my journey, from my birth to my crave, is to pass amidst gay and smiling prospects? Oh! no- I GOmichbooks (E(@)