The Young Duchess; or, Memoirs of a Lady of Quality — page 177: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE YOUNG DUCHESS; OBR, MEMOIRS OF A LADY OF QUALITY. 1638 A rete many women who were really young and really beautiful without artifice, fraud, or disguise. The triumphs which the bel/e of a season may achieve, were nothing to those which I accomplished. It is only natural that some beauteous creature of eighteen or nineteen should succeed in attaching hosts of admirers to the wheels of her chariot ; but that I, a woman past forty years of age, should be enabled to effect similar conquests, was indeed something only too well calculated to make my brain reel as if with the ebriety of wine. But although I received the homage that was thus paid to me, I did not play the part of a heartless coquette, at times giving encouragement, and then bestowing cold looks instead of smiles. My behaviour was one unvaried system of courtesy and affability towards all who approached me, I could not give it out that I did not mean to marry and did not therefore wish to be courted for ma- triniony’s sake ; because that would have seemed most unnatural—indeed most strange and extra- ordinary for a song lady of only three or four and twenty years’ of age|—and suspicions would have been excited. But on the other hand, I was not heartless nor base enough to encourage hopes in any special quarter, or to single out any one of my numerous admirers as a particular favourite. ‘* Having remained some months at Vienna, I visited Baden-Baden, where I was again courted aud admired ; and thence I proceeded to Berlin. It was there that I first formed the acquaintance ef Lord Langport. He was principal attaché to the British Embassy at the Prussian Court: he was unmarried—handsome in person—elegant in Imanners—and agreeable in conversation. In re- spect to his age, he was between four and five years younger than what I actually was, though ten or fifteen years older than whatI then seemed. He was immediately struck by my appearance! he told me that my fame had preceded me from Baden and Vienna; and our acquaintance had not lasted very long before I comprehended that Lord Langport was bent upon paying his court to me. I endeavoured to show him that his atten- tions were not agreeable if meant to exceed the mere politeness of friendship : but he was not a man to be so easily baffled; and situated as I was —cherishing a hideous secret—his addresses amounted to a veritable persecution. I abruptly left Berlin, and came to London. On my arrival in the British metropolis, I was resolved to put my stupendous imposture to a test of a far more severe character than it had yet experienced. I went boldly and called upon Mr. Lea, my late husband’s managing clerk, but who had now be- come a leading member of the new firm. He was an elderly man; and he welcomed me with pater- nal cordiality. Addressing me as Miss Mal- eolm, he evidently felt convinced that I was Miss Malcolm. He spoke to me of my ‘ dear deceased parents,’ and with tears in his eyes deplored the dreadful catastrophe of the Neva whereby I had ‘Jost a tender mother.’ I felt shocked at the tur the discourse took: for it seemed to me as if there were something ctiminal, wicked, and impious in the part that I was playing. I accordingly ab- breviated the interview as much as possible; and I did not breathe freely until I was outside Mr. Lea’s office. ‘Then however, so soon as that so- emnly moral impression was removed from my mind, I rejoiced infinitely at the success of the test to which I had put my imposture. “T did not remain very long in London; for all my habits and tastes were so entirely foreign that I longed to get back to the Con- tinent. Another reason induced me to shorten my sojourn in the British metropolis ; and this was the appearance of Lord Langport, who had obtained leave of absence from Berlin that he might follow upon my track. He again began to persecute me with his addresses; but I fled and paid a visit to Italy. I resolved to settle myself for awhile in Rome; and I had just con- ducted a negotiation for a suitable mansion, when Lord Langport again appeared in my presence. He vowed that he was desperately enamoured of me—declared that my beauty and accomplish- ments were the only attractions, inasmuch as he had far greater wealth on his own side than I could possibly have on mine. Indeed, to convince me of his sincerity, he offered to settle all my for- tune on myself; and heswore that it would prove the proudest moment of his life when he might eonduct me to the altar and place a coronet on my brow. To this torrent of eloquence he gave vent before I could possibly check him; and in- deed I will confess that for the first time since I had commenced my career of imposture, I expe- rienced a woman’s weakness in the presence of a handsome man proclaiming the language of love. I felt towards him as never before I had felt to- wards man—no, not even to my own husband Edward Malcolm. But suddenly exercising a strong power of control over my feelings, I im- plored Lord Langport to rise from his sippliant posture; and I promised that he should receive my decision on the morrow. He departed, con- soling himself with this pledge, and buoyed up with a hope which in a moment of weakness I had suffered him to conceive, and which I had not subsequently the moral courage to dispel upon the spot. During the night that followed I abruptly quitted Rome, leaving a letter to be de- livered to his lordship. I therein told him that I felt flattered by his addresses, but I could not re- ceive them; and I besought him not to follow me elsewhere. “JT went to Paris, where I mingled less in society than for some time past I had been doing. I felt restless and unsettled: it seemed as if new ideas had taken birth within me, and as if there were a void in my heart which required to be filled up. Some months passed; and one day I read in the English journals of the appointment of the Right Hon. Lord Langport to the post of Ambassador at the Court of Wurtemberg. A thrill passed through me; and I could no longer doubt that which for some time past I had béen suspecting, but to the truth of which I had been endeavouring to blind myself. I loved Lord Langport! And Ah! while his image was thus vividly conjured up anew in my mind, who should be introduced into my presence but he himself? He was on his way to assume the duties of his exalted diplomatic post; and now again I beheld him at my feet. Again too did he pour forth the language of love, assuring me of the disinte- restedness of his affection. I burst into tears: — in a passionate tone I declared that there were reasons why I could not marry; and J begged: him never to approach me again. I then COMO YN Wn) Colin