Ellen Percy; or, The Memoirs of an Actress — page 143: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RS 130 ELLEN PERCY; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF AN ACTRESS, Pian the Earl, having just purchased a new estate, | said my father: “it will be a relief to my mind had parted with all his available funds, and had | when it is finished: for though bitter and bitter therefore assisted me with his acceptance—but that has been my punishment in every respect, yet he of course did not wish the bill to be put into | this is again a bitter moment, in which I, as a - circulation. Fortune still continued unfavourable: | parent, have to look my own daughter in the face I could not meet the bill as its date approached; | and tell her of my burning shame—my branding and desperate with my horrified feelings, I con-| infamy!” fessed the truth to the money- -lender, offering to| “Say not another word upon the subject!” I set apart half my annual income for the liquidation | passionately cried. “Ob, you must not afllict of the amount. But he was inexorable; and the | yourself thus!” result was that I found myself plunged intoafelon’s| “ Yes—the tale shall be told!” answered my gaol. Ob, my God! the agony of that moment | father: “you already know nearly the whole. You when the massive door closed behind me!” were sickly in your childhood, Ellen; and it would The unhappy man shuddered visibly at the recol- | have been death to take you on that long and fear- lection; and thrusting both his hands into his hair, fui voyage. Besides, to bring you up with the he seomied as if he could tear it out by the roots. | know!edge that you were a convict’s daughter, was A scream nearly pealed forth from my lips as I\a thought that horrified me. I preferred the bit- fancied that he was going mad. He removed his | ter alternative of téaring myself away from you hands; and recovering his self-possession, if not | altogether. Your grandfather offered to take care > his composure, he continued in the following | of you. I knew that he was mean and a miser: strain :— but still I thought that he would do his duty fully ~ “© Yes—that was a dreadful moment: but there | and completely towards his poor little grandehild. was @ moment in reserve more dreadful still! It | Your mother coincided with all the reasons which was when, after having been tried and condemned | induced us to separate from you—though she her- ¢o transportation for life, I sat in my prison-cell, | self felt, as I did, that it was almost death to with my fond and faithful wife, who resolved to abandon our offspring. Nevertheless it was done, accompany me to the land of my exile. But why|I went to the penal colony: your mother pro- was that moment so heartrending? It was be- | ceeded thither in another ship, which sailed pre- cause our child was to be left behind us to the care | cisely at the same time. But she did not survive of its grandfather; and we were weeping and long after her arrival at Sidney. To behold her sobbing over that beloved daughter !” husband working in chains ~ A terrible seream burst from my lips; and I fell} “Oh, enough! enouga, father!” I exclaimed, down senseless upon the carpet. horrified at the words which had just come from As I slowly came back to consciousness, I was | his lips. reclining in the chair to which my father had lifted| “Well, Ellen, we will not dwell upon that me: my bonnet and scarf were on the floor; and | shade of a picture thaf is all so darkly terrible! water had moistened my hair and was trickling Your poor mother died; and thousands of miles down my cheeks. across the seas she lies in an obscure and nameless “Ab, now you know it, Ellen!” exclaimed my | grave. Her loss at firs} maddened me; for it was father: “now you know tho hideous, horrible | my criminality that had as good as murdered her secret!—and you will curse me! Yes—yoa will| who had naturally in her the vigorous health curse the author of your being giving promise of a long life. When I recovered “ No, father—no !” I wildly exclaimed: “never!” | from that species of delirium of the brain, a great —and I was precipitating myself towards him to| change took place within me. I grew sullen and fall into his arms; but he peremptorily motioned | morose: I studied even to embrute myself, so that me back. in a callousness of this sort I might lose the sense “ No, Ellen—it must not be so!’ he said. “I/ of my poignant recollections. In process of time am a man whom the law has smitten—whom jus- | I escaped tice has branded—a man with a fearful stigma upon “You escaped, father?” I said shudderingly. his name—a convict—a felon! And you, chiid, ‘“ Then—then—you were not pardoned?” are pure and virtuous as when I held you in my | ** No—I am still a convict and a felon, Ellen— arms within the walls of that prison 4 as I told you ere now. But listen, and let me “Ob, father!” I exclaimed, “the scene has| make an end of this narrative. I escaped, I say: dimly haunted me ever since; and it was thus; I made my way to England, working my passage that the moment you began to depict it, 1 com- | as a common sailor; and you know in what state prehended it all—I knew its reality! But-tell me | of poverty I arrived at Leeds—for you saw me! _ —my poor mother?” For an instant I was inclined to snatch you in my My father gave me a look which answered the) arms, and cover you with kisses: but I dared not; query: my mother was no more. for I could not claim you as my own child—Il could “Oh you wept over me in my childhood,” I| not take you away from your home and make you exclaimed: “ you wept over me in the anguish of| cling to misery. Therefore at the very instant separation—and therefore you must have loved) when my heart's yearnings prompted me to fold me! No matter what you have been—no matter | you in my embrace, I called up to my aid that what you are—it is my duty to love you in return) brutality of feeling which I had adopted as it were for that love which you bestowed upon me!” my second nature. Your grandfather sent you Again I flew towards my father: this time his; from the room; and he gaye me some money on arms were open to receive me; and I wept long | condition that I would never come near him upon his breast. I sat down again: it all appeared | again. He vowed that if I attempted to take tv me a dream! | you away from him, he would surrender me up “Tot me tell you the remainder of my story,” | to justice; for that he would rather even have you : LL ee re ge ee ee —_eoOor eo@nnicbooks. conn