Ellen Percy; or, The Memoirs of an Actress — page 170: what you’re looking at

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ELLEN PERCY; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF AN ACTRESS. 157 narrative,—did it not strike you as somewhat sin- J know the bliss of love likewise ??—and then too gular that he should confess to you the circum- | I was dazzled by wild hopes: I pictured to my- stance of having sought my hand in marriage, self the brilliancy of an alliance with the emi- just after he had been telling you that you were nent statesman Edwin St. Clair! I knew that the only one of the sex who, with the exception I should not be the first actress who had risen of his wife, had ever made an impression upon his from the stage toa higher rank; and, in a word, heart ?” I was intoxicated with all the vain and foolish “Oh! Edwin St. Clair,” exclaimed Mary, “is | thoughts that entered into my mind!” by no means the person to contradict his own dis-| “Oh, if you had spoken to me, Mary,” I ejacu- course, or leave the mind impressed with the idea | lated, “how different would it all be now. But of contradictions and inconsistencies on his part. | it is useless for me to give vent to these bitter He went on at once to inform me——Ab! now, | sayings, which even savour of a reproach,—and I Ellen, you will not think that I am attempting to | who have already pledged myself to abstain from glorify myself at your expense; but you will/| reproaches altogether !” understand that I am merely telling you the exact “You may now conjecture, Ellen, what I am truth, in order that you may comprehend all the | about to relate,” proceeded Mary. “ We did meet duplicities which that man brought to bear upon | again! A couple of days afterwards Henry Wake- my mind ~ field took his departure; and it was on that same “TI understand you, Mary,” I said; “and /| day I metSt. Clair asecond time. He spoke more again I beg you to tell the tale after your own | openly to me of his love: he pointedly spoke of fashion.” marriage also. When we parted, it was with but “Twill, Ellen, He went on to say that he did | little hesitation I promised to meet him again. not really love you as he felt he had loved his| On the ensuing day I pretexted the necessity of lamented wife, and as he knew that he would love | going on a shopping excursion: that was on the me K same day on which you were visited by the poor “The detestable hypocrite!” I ejaculated. “Oh, | dramatic author, of whose interview with you, my such love as that which he bore for his wife! If|dear Ellen, you subsequently gave me so graphic you knew all, Mary But no matter! Another{a description. And all the time the egotistical time I may perhaps initiate you more deeply into | Mr. Jingleton was inflicting his absurdities upon many secrets and mysteries connected with Edwin | you, I was walking with Edwin St. Clair in one St. Clair. Proceed, my dear friend—and excuse ; of the most secluded portions of the Regent’s me for this interruption.” Park,—listening to the language of love, and “Yes, Ellen—he told me that he had not really | credulously confiding in all that flowed from his loved you, but that he thought it would be a! lips. Ah! in order to render my narrative as com- glorious triumph if he could carry off a prize con- | plete as possible, I should remark that although cerning whom there prevailed a sensation amount-|on occasions I had heard something drop from ing to a positive furor in the fashionable world at | your lips detrimental to the character of St. Clair, the time. And all this he explained in a manner | nothwithstanding the usual reserve which you so natural—in terms that appeared to be so un- | maintained with regard to him,—yet pardon me if questionably invested with truth and sincerity— | I thought that you were in some sense prejudiced, that I believed him: yes, I believed him!—and | or that you had been misled, And Oh! whena when I now look back upon my credulity, I feel as | young woman blindly loves, it is so easy for the if I could go mad with rage and indignation at {| object of her affections to persuade her of the myself! But you may easily conceive—indeed | existence of his own immaculate character! Yes you have already shown that you full well con- | —for though I have since perceived that it was a jecture, why he should have turned the conversa- | mere infatuation on my part, by no means insig- tion upon yourself. It was his aim to devise some | nificantly fostered by my own insensate ambition, pretext in order to prevent me from mentioning | I did verily imagine at the time that it was love to you the acquaintance I had formed. But I | with which Edwin St. Clair had inspired me. But comprehended not his object and his purpose at | to continue my narrative. On the following day the time. Thus it was with a credulous ear [| you went to Willowbridge; and I met St. Clair listened to him as he went on to suggest how in- | again. He then asked if I would bestow my hand convenient and impolitic it would be to suffer you | in marriage upon him ?—and when overcome with to learn that we had thus met—that he had exe | joy rather than with confusion, I faltered out an pressed so deep an interest in me—and that he | affirmative, he seemed to be inspired with the ventured to intimate the hope we should meet | sincere delight of one who entertained the most again. I gave him a half-promise to this effect; | honourable intentions. He then expressed a wish and we separated. Afterwards, when I was alone, | to introduce me to two or three female relations and when I had leisure to reflect on all that had | whom he represented as staying at his house; and taken place, I asked myself whether I ought not all this he said with so much seeming delicacy and to look with mistrust and suspicion upon the lan-| with such an appearance of good faith, that I was guage and conduct of that man—whether I ought | completely deluded. I assented; and we sepa- not to think of all the good advice you had given | rated, after having made an appointment for the me—and whether it were not even my duty to tell | morrow. And now, Ellen, 1 come to the fearful you everything that had occurred? But no! my | portion of my narrative!” evil genius got the better of me again. Ithought| Mary paused for nearly a minute; and when to myself that I was a being formed to love and | she again spoke, it was in a lower voice and witha to be loved; and when I beheld how happy you | sombre tone. were in the love of your handsome and noble- “Tt was in the evening that I was to meet St. minded Henry, I exclaimed, ‘ And why should not | Clair again in the Park, where he proposed to be St tsetse Sse hess CORNICLOOOLK