Ellen Percy; or, The Memoirs of an Actress — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

——_ oo Se mm 24 you! He however said that it assuredly would be improper for him to call at your house without your permission; and then we parted. It was my purpose to mention this incident to you, Ellen— but I scarcely know how it was—I feared that you might blame me for having stopped to speak to that young gentleman after the earnest advice you had given me to be ever on my guard in re- ference to strangers—I did not then know his name—I thought that of course you would ask me, and that I should feel myself foolish and em- barrassed in being compelled to reply that I really did not know. So I remained silent: but—but— I must candidly confess, Ellen”—and here Mary Glentworth reposed her blushing countenance upon my shoulder—‘ that I thought of that young gentleman and that his image had made a certain impression upon my mind!” ‘And doubtless you again met him shortly P” I inquiringly said, thus endeavouring piecemeal to elicit the facts of the whole proceeding. “ Yes—it was so,” replied Mary. “Two or three days afterwards, while you were at rehearsal, I went out to make a few little purchases—and I met him in a neighbouring street. He immedi- ately accosted me—he seemed delighted to see me —and in the course of conversation he told me his name—he gave me to understand that he was rich and his own master. Then—I can scarcely tell how—but I found myself listening to the assu- rances which he was giving me, but in language so gentlemanly and delicate, to the effect that he had never ceased to think of me from the moment we first met, and that he felt unhappy till he be- held me again. I was trembling all over—it seemed to me that I was doing wrong to listen to such language—or at least that I was in duty bound to communicate everything afterwards to you: but he besought me to grant him another meeting on the following day and to remain alto. gether silent upon the subject in the interval. I did not promise that I would—neither did I say that I would not. We parted—and—and x; “On the following day you met him again P” I said. “Yes, Ellen—I met him—he then spoke to me more plainly—he declared that he had never loved before—but that he felt he loved me deeply, and that he could not live without me. He besought me to tell him whether I could love him in return; and he vowed that the most delightful moment of his life would be that in which he should conduct me to the altar. Afterwards we met frequently, Ellen—for I am now confessing everything Kg “ But what arguments did he use, my dear Mary,” I inquired, “as a reason for not calling at the house and for keeping all these proceedings a secret P” “T could not tell him that I loved him in re- turn—I experienced some feeling, I scarcely know how to explain it—but it was areluctance to admit that in so short a time he had made an impression upon my heart. Ah! perhaps it was that I feared he might think it was levity on my part, and I wished to merit his esteem—his love «3 “ But did it not strike you, Mary,” I gently in- quired, “that you might suffer in his estimation by continuing to meet him thus stealthily ?” “Oh! he begged and implored me to meet him =—he said that until I came to know him better ELLEN PERCY; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF AN ACTRESS. and could give him a positive decision, it were more prudent that he should abstain from calling at the house—and in a word that he would not visit me there until he could be iztroduced to you and to my uncle as my accepted suitor. And then too, Ellen, I must admit that there was such soft persuasion in his language —I felt myself as if under a spell when in his company a “But now tell me, Mary,” I said, “on that particular evening when I returned from Peters- field, and you said you had been to dine with Mr, Wilkinson > “Ah! I will explain everything, my dear Ellen,” she exclaimed. ‘The day before you re- turned from Petersfield I met Clarence Beau. champ, and he asked me to accompany him to the Gardens in the Regent’s Park. We went: and as I was two or three hours absent from home— much longer than I had ever before been absent, when not using the carriage—I thought on my return that it would appear strange to the ser- vants; and not knowing precisely what excuse to make, I suddenly recollected that it would seem natural enough if I had been engaged in some business with a solicitor. So the name of Mr. Wilkinson came uppermost; and as if quite casually, I dropped a hint to that effect. 1 had promised that I would meet Clarence again on the following evening, and that I would then give him my decision—for as yet I had not suffered him to elicit from my lips an avowal of reciprocal affection: but as I had by that time known him exactly one month, I thought that I need no longer conceal the true state of my feelings—and all the less so because he must have fully com- prehended them from the fact of my consenting to meet him from time to time, and that I had listened to the language of love which he breathed in my ear. i had promised to meet him again in the Regent’s Park; and foreseeing that my absence would once more be prolonged, I again used the name of Mr. Wilkinson as a pretext with the servants:—I said that I was going ta dine with that gentleman. Now believe me, my dear Ellen, if you had been at home on these two occasions, I could not have brought myself to give utterance to those untruths deliberately to your face: but to servants one will casually throw out excuses which one would not breathe to one’s friends or equals. Nevertheless, when on return- ing that evening at about nine o’clock, I found you had come back from Petersfield—unexpectedly in- deed, for I thought that your business would most probably detain youa day or two longer there— I was seized as it were with a species of conster- nation, and I found myself compelled to repeat deliberately the pretext which I had lightly and casually thrown out in the presence of the lady’s- maid. For you must understand, Ellen, I had promised Clarence that the secret of our love should be maintained until he himself considered that a proper time had elapsed when everything might be revealed to you and when my uucle should have returned s “ But nearly a month has passed, Mary,” I in- terjected, “ since you suffered Mr. Beauchamp to elicit the avowal of love from your :1ps—you have now known him about two months altogether—and yet during all this time you have kept the secret ; OOK COA EO)