Happy Days: Tom Taylor, The Boy Who Worried Blanco — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

< ea [This story commenced in No, 197.] “TONY THE TORMENT THE WORLD. By TOM TEASER, of “ Tony the Torment at School,” “Tony the Torment,” ‘* Muldoon in Search of a Cousin,” “* Mortimer Merry,” “‘ Fred Frollick,” “ Our Willie,” ‘“‘Muldoon in Chicago,” etc., etc., etc. 2 Pe : . a The head waiter pulled his nose. The man of all work punched his eye. The landlord jawed him, It would not have been dignified for him to have thumped the fellow. European landlords are great sticklers for dignity. eae PART IV. Sa. real porter, returning from a _ visit =, aeto tue bosom of his family, entered the =a) fais time was up, and he was prepared “te xesume his duties. co) Dhaba (wide Ss oe ———— <p ew eee ee ee ee eee oe ee a ee — “At that time I was at home. would be half-past four, ana you know that I am not due till five. in his senses would return half an before he was due? You have been haunt- ed! It was not I who did ali this,” The porter’s reasoning was good enough. He had never been known to come in ahead of time, Still there was something very myste- rious about it, Finally there were many who swore to his being a mile away from the hotel at the hour named, The alibi being proven, the landlord said that some evil spirit had taken on the por- ters appearance, and had done _ these things, but that he and the others must not be blamed for having been deceived. Pete didn't lose his job, but he had had /a thumping all the same, and that couldn’t be wiped out, | Tony chuckled, but gave the man a tip i | il | tee Hill | ~ | Z ' all | } ~ v é Z : y t ; = a e 1 Nee } Xe Mah ; 4 ’ r. ™ - ‘ 7 4 ¥ . itt | s ° ; . ith me . PPPTERMMAI T) SS > 3 . 4 ; “ - i o M b * Ge, < - ' . - ‘ Vf, Hf} HAN - TET = —— ne aN e ; : \i') VX Sets \ 1 | ' | yy | Lass 7 j } { ' : cae 1.5 > > , ae AAS 4 - % i nt << ——___— : \ ee ————— ee ee ea TESS ——SSSSSSSSS=_ -e-<s ————— | a ee — oo — \) < sky | 1G" Wy al | Pope higvlp EH 4 } ip” | ea i A n if Wf Z Wnt IN se Meh yy My ah tiny a? iff HTH) Wty We LYN eS Yuh t . y) f f tH] y Uf Vi ak ANS ‘, ff ee ri) Wf, / ND ANE AVA y, WH Yay) Wl ”, rn é , Vins ny htt i) WV j fl Ls HUY “Aw. you LOAFER, I SHALL SEE IF YOU SHALL INSULT ME LIKE THAT, THE TOOLS OF HER TRADE WITH HER. SWEPT PETE OUT OF HER PATH, HE WENT DOWN The porter was pretty well used up. The chambermaid wanted to take a sec- ond inning, however. “fie started for his little box to put on - fis hafand coat. : One of those fellows will never work ~2 eS Sapless in uniform. She brandished the broom and rattled >) it the hotel were on fire and they were off German by ae yard, at tell >) YR De Sbirt siceves, they wouldn't doa Pretend to ea ae an 5 nen e Tt te eae ae they had put on their official) ® nay emit, and I will tell my. brother and a ne Well, Bete started to get his. my sweetheart and tr Beeroee aco eo He was met by a deputation. the way, and they will pound you well. Yes, and I will tell your wife that you kissed me, and she will pull off your ugly whiskers !” ‘‘It is notso much to kiss a chamber- maid,” said the head waiter, “but you have pulled my nose, Anyone can kiss a ahainbermatd, that is nothing, but any one cannot insult a head waiter,” ‘‘Tt is not so much that you kiss the chambermaid and insult the head waiter There was the landlord. THW@ Mead waiter came next. Th@ man of all work followed. TW® lady of the bed chambers was last. hey ali had something to say. ®8or why you snap your fingers mit my tate ?” : "What for should you pnt my nose?” * Who told you I should, be punched? “GR'> you tell meto go change my Seeeeronth aeain, you loafer!” and strike the boots, but you snapped the ee hy h in| fingers of youin the face of me, the pro- pe. ee mbermaid <p na papa pata neletor of this hotel, and that is something We 208 fest spoke in misfit English. to be pas in prison for,” said the landlord Pomy aod Dick were looking on. inall his dignity. Then the five of them jabbered away in German, good, bad and very bad, and it sounded like a lot of pigs having a free fight. ‘The porter denied having done any wrong and demanded evidence, They all gave it to him, but he swore that he had just come in and could not have done these things, ‘‘Do I not know your cap and coat and your whiskers?” demanded the boss, “T tell you it was yourself and no one else.” ** And when was it?” * Half an hour ago,” : z= Wt hey knew there would be fun. * What it is?” asked the porter. ‘‘ What nae as JOW was spoking ?” ee * Aly, you loafer, I’shall see if you shall tty imsulé me like that,” said the chamber- maid, Sie had some of the tools of her trade With her. ¥; & 6room and a pail of water. ee path the first she swept Pete out of her path, He went down kerflop. Phen the lady with the-water pail washed away the dirt at her feet, Up Jumped the porter, SAID THE CHAMBERMAITD, A BROOM AND A PAIL OF WA’ —————— thy t a o a v Al %, 19, "=> = 4 dT, it OR S— uy WT MA) i VAM a Ms } ¥ iw end) ta y tf} 7 7 if if i) WB) Uy Z Lhd 7 r} hy 4 [ va Z SHE HAD SOME OF TER. WITH THE FIRST SHE KERFLOP, | all the same when he went away, although : he had said that he would not. ‘“* The fellow got it hotter than I intended he should,” he said to Dick, ‘‘and so I’m willing to make it up to him,” Miss Pert wouldn’t give him anything, debgea, and he had expected a lot from er, ‘The American women, they make me the pain,” Tony heard himsay. ‘* English, French, Germans, all give the porter some- thing, but the Americans no, and they ask the most questions.” *“Then go getajob that you are paid for, and you won’t have to make a beggar of yourself,” said Tony. ‘* Your boss ought to pay you, not make the traveling public do it,” ** Aha, but that is the custom, and you do not understand,” said the man, with a shrug. **Oh, I understand well enongh,” laugh- ed Tony, ‘‘and it’s a very bad custom, but you people are too obstinate, and travelers are too soft-hearted, and so it goes.” The doctor went into Germany after ws cohbeng Lucerne, and stopped first at the queer little University town of Heidelberg, stuck in between green hills on the banks of the Neckat. The students of Heidelberg are great fighters, They will pick up a quarrel with any one on the slightest pretext, Each university has itscorps of fighting men, They are distinguished by funny little caps of different colors, stuck away over on one side of the head, t That What porter hour There are the blues, the greens, the reds, the yellows, the whites and so on, A student of any country looks ridicu- lous when' he is on dress parade, but these fellows rake in the gate money. With their dinkey little caps resting on one ear, their noses in the air, their chests swelled out, and their arms stuck out as if they had been trained to carry parcels, the students of these German universities look as foolish as a goose ducking her head upon going through a twenty-foot high barn oor. They think they are real folks, however, and deeply resent any affront to their dig- nity. The most of them have scratched and scarred faces, the result of wounds received notin honest fight, but in the silly duels in which they all engage, no matter for what reason, and if for none, just the same, On the afternoon of their arrival in Hei- delberg, Tony and Dick went for a walk along the principal and only street in the funny old town. Tony had on that trick coat of his, not knowing if he might not need it, He also had one or two kinds of whisk- ers stuck in his hat, which was of the soft variety on this occasion. It was quite the thing for him to go pro- vided for mimicry nowadays, whenever he went out for a walk, The two young fellows had not gone far before they met one of these self-im- portant students. He wore a flat-topped, bright yellow cap perched upon his left mustache, his chest was stuck out like a pigeon’s, he carried a little stick, and his nose was away up in the air, Dick, who had seen dudes but had never seen a creature like this, laughed outright. ‘*For Heaven’s sake, what it Is once?” he snickered, The student glared flercely at Dick as he went on, and then turned and looked after the two boys, ‘* What do you call it?” asked Dick, still laughing. ** One of the students,” ‘* Why, he don’t look asif he ever studied anything but his looking-glass, Do they all look as ridiculous as that?” Just then they met another, He wore a pink cap, He also had court plaster patches over his nose, This time Tony laughed, The fellow scowled and went on, “This town must be a regular museum for freaks,” said Dick, ‘* So it seems,” said Tony, dryly. In just about another minute they meta third student. He wore a white cap that made him look as if he had a Charlotte Russe on his head. It had to be strapped under his chin to keep it from falling off, it was tipped at such an angle, The fellow was bow-legged and would have sat astride a barrel with no trouble. A good fat pig could have run between his legs and never touched him, He had a regular street railway map laid out in court plaster on his face, ‘This time both boys forgot their man- ners and laughed, The student scowled savagely and said in German: * You have insulted me and must pay the penalty.” ‘‘What does he say, Tony?’ asked Thurston, “I’m not up in the limburger dialect.” Tony spoke German studied it in college. He therefore answered the irascible stu- dent. “IT beg your berg ods but really you can’t blame me, If you will make your- self ridiculous, it is to laugh in spite of myself,” *“An apology is not the reparation a gentleman makes,” retorted the student, **T must have blood.” ‘*Go sit on a tack,” said Tony, in Eng- lish, ‘‘Go chase yourself, Do you catch on? Go jump into the river and cool off,” Then he and Thurston went along. ‘“* What did he want?” asked Dick, ‘* Blood |” said Tony, with mock impres- siveness, “Oh, did he?” ** He did.” ‘‘ Nothing else would satisfy him?" ‘“* Apparently not.” ‘Well, you ought to give it to him, then.” ‘“ Mav be [ will, ‘laughed Tony, A few moments later the two travelers went into one of the old-time, almost pre- historic beer places that you meet in Ger- many. It was big, but low ceiled. There were pictures on the walls that might have been there for centuries, and the floor was worn in ridges by the feet of countless custom- ers, The tables were heavy and dark and old, and shone like polished metal; the chairs were of solid oak, and just the things to lounge in, Old fashioned mugs of quaint design fluently, having comicboo Cc co