The Mysteries of London, Vol. IV — page 161: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee eee 1524 TIE MYSTERIES Or LONDON. A A ee words, recommenced in the form of the most hearty peals of laughter—and the clashing of the fire-irons— and the stamping of feet, as if the two gentlemen were mad. “They have begun their booze,” said Mrs, Rudd to herself, looking up in de-pairat the ceiling, as if she thought the captain and his friend must inevitably come through upon her devoted head. “ But never mind!” sho suddenly exclaimed aloud, as athought— avery bright thought struck her: “I will put up with it for this once—and to- morrow—to-morrow——” Here Mrs. Rudd stopped short; for she would not even trust the empty air with the lucid idea which had struck her. We may however inform our readers that this said idea was nothing more nor less than to-lock out the two gentlemen when they went for their usnal walk on the morrow. Tranquillised by the excellence of the scheme, Mrs, Rudd refreshed herself with a small drop of brandy, and then spread her huge Bible epen on the table before her—not to read it, hut merely because “it looked pious-like,” as she thought, if any of her neigh- bours showld lhappen to drap in For Sirs. Rudd delighted in the reputation for sanctity which she enjoved amongst her acquaintances in general, and the frequenters of the reverend gentleman's chapel in particular, Let us now return to Mr, Frank Curtis and Captain O'Blunderbuss, who, as the Jandlady rightly con- cluded, were enjoying themselves in their own peculiar fashion up-stairs, Having: partaken of a colt joint, and the slip-shod ciriof the house having provided them with a jug of hot water, the two gentlemen commenced the evening's orgie. The whiskey-punch which they brewed was of that kind which is libellously alleged to be peculiarly affected by Jadies—namely, “hot, strong, and plenty of it;”—and, under its influence, they coon manifested their wonted exuberance of spirits. First, Captain O'Blunde: buss would insist upon giving Frank a Jess son with the bread-sweord—the one using the poker, and the other the shovel ;—and every time the gallant officer thrust his friend in the ribs, a hearty shont of Inughter burst from their lips—tor they considered it prime fun. When they were tired of this amusement, they re- cumed their seats—replenished their plas-es—and chatted on divers matters interesting to themselves. Presently Frank started up, and leapt over a chair in order to show his agility, although he had grown romewhat stout of Jate years;—anl as he acquitted himself in a clumsy manner, the captain volunteered to teach him how to do it. But the gallant officer only tumbled over the chair, causing a tremenddus plitin his trousers—an accident at which they never- theless both laughed more heartily than ever. “Bo Jasust” cried the captain, “and it’s the only pur of unmintionables that L possess! Dut niver mind : Vil be afther telling the gal to tike them round to the tailor’s the first thing in the morning; and so JJ] take my breakfast in bed, Frank. They'll soon be eent home ayain.” “Let's see? we've got to meet Styles to-morrow at three in the afternoon,” said Curtis; “and, by Jove! we must malice him come down with the dust.” “Be the power-rs{ and you're right, my frind!” exclaimed the captain. “It’s ecighteen-pince that's left in my pocket at this prisint spaking _ “and nothing at all in mine,” interrupted Frank, both his hands diving at the same time down into the depths of the empty conveniences alluded to.“ Deuce take this railway affair! It gets on precious slow. YT remember when Twas in Paris two or three-and- twenty years age, they were making a new path-way through my friend the Archbishop's estate at Fon- tainbleau; and if his Grace didn’t go and swear at the men all day long, they never would have got on vith i eal “Be the power-rs! if it’s a thrifle of swearmg that would make Misther Styles push a-head,” said the gallant officer, “I’m the boy to help him on with that same.” “You see there’s been what they call a tightness in the Money-Market lately,” observed Frank: “at least, that’s what Styles told me the other day——” “And it’s an infer-r-rnal tightness that’s got hould of our Money-Market, my frind,” interrupted the captain, “Be Jasus! there’s the potheen bottle empty —and no tick at the public!” “You've got ecighteen-pence in your pocket, cap- tain,” sugeested Curtis. “ Right, me boy !”—and he rang the bell furiously. The slip-shod girl answered the summons, and wag forthwith despatched for a supply of whiskey at the wine-vaults which the lodgers honoured with their custom. ; . & “Now we'ro altogether aground,” said Curtis, after ‘a pause which had followed the departure of the ser- vant. “But we've every thing necessary in tho house for to-morrow morning’s breakfast, except the milk” : “ And bar-r-ring my breeches, yo spalpeen!” cried the captain. “They must be immediately menthed, anv how.” “Oh! the tailor won't think of asking; for the money when he brings them home,” said Curtis then, be- holding the comical expression of his frend? sounte- nance, which was clongated with sore misenvings re- specting the amount of contidence the snip might chooze to pul in his honeur, Frank bur-t out intus tremendats fit of lnughter. “Arraht and be Jasus! and it’s all mighty fine for you, Misther Curtis, to make a damned fool of yourself in that fashion,” exclained Captain O'Blunderbnes, becoming as red as aturkevecock: “but I can assure ye that it’s no joking matther for me to contimplate the prospict of lying, in bed for a weeks or two till I get my breeches back again. And now, if you're not alther houldinyg your tongue, Frank, 1 tip ve asmall rap on the head with the poker—by the hoy Iv pukerer, } will!” “Don't pet into a rage, captain,” said Curtis, put. ting a bridle upon his mirth in consequence of the threat just held out—a threat which he hnew ajy amiable friend was perfectly capable of putting inte force. “Twill go out the first ching in the morning and see Styles—and Thave no doubt he will give me some money. I shall be back again by the tune the tailor comes home with—with-—~” “The unmintionables!” vociferated the captain, his wrath reviving as he saw that his friend was once # more on the paint of giving vent te a hearty eachin- nation. * But here’s the gal coming up stairs with the petheen; and so we'll be afther enjoying aur- selves for the prisint, and think of the tightness of the Money-Mar-r-rket in the morning,” “Well, what the deuce has made you so lone?” de- manded Frank Curtis, as the slip-shod dom estic ertered the room. o EConnicloooks (SO)