The Mysteries of London, Vol. IV — page 349: what you’re looking at

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Sad oe settled—a painful nervousness constantly main- tained its influence orer mo—my health gave way ngain, as rapidly under the heavy weight of sorrow as it did beneath tho wearing effects of dissipation. Oh! yes—and what was worse than all, was that my Editha grow paler and thinner day by day— visibly ;—and I dared not attempt to console her—I could not force my tongue to frame a lie to assure her that I myself was happy. Thus was our once happy homo changed to 4 sccno of gloom: a docp despondency hung upon us all—and I perceived, witb ineffable anguish, that Mrs, Greville began to vlew mo with distrust. Perhaps she thought that some crime lay heavy upon my soul: yes—this must have been her impression—or she would doubtless have questioned mes But sho did not live long enough to behold the sad catastrophe: a short though sercro illness suatched her to tho tomb-—and, circumstanced as I was, I rejoiced in scerct at the orent,—for I said to myself, ‘ Thoro is at all events one being the less to deceive—one being the less to wateb ino with mournful and silently appealing looks!’"—O God! it was not strange—it was not wonderful if inndness were beginning even then to underaiine the strong tower of my reason ! “ Searcely wero the remains of my mother-in-law consigned to the tomb, when the extortioner re- appeared at the house. is demands inereased in proportion to the concessions which were made to him by my fears; but I was totally unablo to com- ply with his presentexigences. Itistruc that there was much property still left -—but it was settled on my wife—and I could not command from my own resonrees the sum needed. This I candidly told him, and besought him to be merciful ;—yes, with tears in my eyes did I beseech him. Tho wretch } the monster! what eared ho for my grief—my anguish? He desired mo tohave recourse to a dis- counter—gave me the address of o moncy-lender-— and gaid he should return on the following evening: Accordingly—impelled by my wretched, wretched destins—I visited the moxey-lender, who advanced me three thousand pounds on myown acceptance, and at most usurious interest. The whole of that moncy found its way into the pocket of tho extortioner ; and when ho had taken his departure, I fell downin a fit. For days and days did I keep my bed; and when 1 awoke to consciousness, it was from a delirium, My dear wife was seated by my bed-side; but, O God!—how pale—how altered—how wan sho was with long vigils and deep grief! 1 questioned her guardedly to ascertain whether in my raviogs I had betrayed my secret: but I learnt, beyond a'l doubt, that I had not. Then I began to breathe more freely; and she, throwing her arms about my neck, exclaimed, while tears streamed in torrents down her checks, ‘My beloved husband, you have some dreadful grief preying upon your mind, Mny I not bo made your confidant! I have observed that al- ways after the visits of the man who calls every now and then, and invariably in the evening, you are stricken as with a heavy affiiction. Oh! what does it all mean ?’--I endeavoured to console her— to soothe her—to reassure her as well as I could ; but I saw that she only pretended to bo solaced, for my sake! “Wel]—I recovered: but happiness and I had shaken hands for ever. I fult as if L were followed about by an invisible demon, whosebreath poisoned the ver~ atmosphere that] breathed. I know that my i Tt THE aAfYSTERIES OF LONDON. brain was reeling—that my reason was tottcrin3-~ that I was going mad! Often did I think ser+t ously of murdering my wifo and child, and thon putting an end to my own existence. But I dared not lay violent hands upon them; and I had too much moral courage still left toseck death so long as there romained a single tie, however foeble, to bind me to life, But anew misfortune was in store for me—for us. A solicitor in whom I and my wife trusted, obtained our signatures to certain deeds under the fonlost represontations; and by virtue thereof he sold out oll thestock standing in Editha’s name in the Bank. Ho then absconded; snd we woro suddently reduced from affluence to compara- tive penury. I was unable to honour my accopt- ance; and tho discouater would listen to no terms, IIe said that ho had passed it away in the regular course of business, and could not take it up him- self. Twas arrested and thrown into prison. My friends deserted me, believing thot wanton extravagance on my part had led to this eatastrophe. Yes: all save my beloved wife deserted me—and she, the angel! remained faithful to me! We had two hundred and fifty pounds 5 year still left; and on the houses which produced this income, my wife insisted on raising tho money necessary to obtain my release, But such a proceeding would have left us beggars; and I could not endure tho idea of misery for one— two-three persons! No: tho proparty was 40 secured that my creditor could not touch it—and I resolved, by tho advice of an attorney, to apply for relief to tho Insolvents’ Court. I did so; and the creditor opposed me on the ground of extravagance. I could give no account of the manner in which J had disposed of the moncy ho had adranced me— and whon the opposing counsel asked me, on my oath, whether I had not lost it at gambling, I gree- dily snapped at the means of explanation thus fur- nished, and perjured myself by the utterance of an affirmative. Oh! that misereant eatortioner!—he drove mo to ruin—a prison—the Insolvents’ Court —prrjury—and lastly to a mad-houre! Great God | how can 1 write thus tranquilly when I think of nll the wrongs that I have endured ? e Ld e e * July 23rd, 1846. “J havo been compeiled to desist again: but at length I resume my pen. My ideas are rapidly becoming more settled: I dhink that I shall recover altogether, if L can but manage to escape from this place ! “J stated that I appeared at the Insolveats’ Court, and was opposed by the holder of the bill for three thousand pounds. The Commissioner re- manded me to prison for twelve months as a punish- ment for wanton and profligate expenditure, I shall not dwell upon that long incarceration: it was horrible to s sensitive son! like mine. Evon | Editha, patient and Joving as she was, failed to solace mo altogether. There were intervals of anguish so bitter that I fancied myself at times to be alroady dead and enduring the torments of hell. Dreadful thought! But at length the time passed —-and I was once more free. We tock a neat little cottage in tho suburbs of the metropolis; and tran- quillity seemed to havo been restored to us nt last, Our son throre gloriously: Oh! what a handsome EConnicloooks ome we (CO)