Joseph Wilmot, or, The Memoirs of a Man-Servant — page 135: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

« a - - -— SC eC te 122 JOSEPH WILMOT; -__— a OR, THE MEMOIRS OF A MAN-SERVANT, presumptuous on my part, that I was utterly con- founded. “ Joseph—dear Joseph,” murmured Calanthe Dundas, “hear me speak the truth plainly I love you! From the very first moment I beheld you within these walls, I felt interested in you. Then came the hideous treachery of my sister’s wretched companion ; and despite the weight of circumstances, my heart forbade me from believing you guilty. Oh! even then I felt so much inte- rest on your behalf that I could have become a more enthusiastic champion of your cause than I was: but you understand—motives of delicacy re- strained me, Not you yourself, Joseph, experi- enced a livelier joy than that Which took possession of my soul when your innocence was made mani- fest. In the secrecy and solitude of my own cham- ber, I wept with delight. Next, when Charlotte informed me how you refused that little gift which I charged her to present to you, I was agaiii smitten with joy and delight: I perceived at once that your notions were above your position—I recognised in you a high-mindedness which ren- dered you all the more estimable and admirable to my contemplation. A month has passed since those occurrences; and during this interval the feelings of interest which I first experienced, have deepened and widened they have gtown into love! I suspected their nature; and frankly do I confess that I endeavoured to conquer them— Yes, and I essayed to convince myself that they were only those of friendship. But to-da Oh! to-day, the conviction has been forced upon me—I have opened my eyes to the real truth! If I had analyzed those feelings for hours, I could not have reached a conclusion so positive as that with which the adventure of this morning smote me all in an instant. Now, Joseph, I have spoken frankly and candidly my happiness depends upon you. We are both young: we may hope that circumstances in the course of a few years will prove favourable——At all events, I will renounce everything and make any sacrifice for your sake |” Not a single word had fallen from fy lips while Lady Calanthe Dundas was thus addressing me: she still too retained my hand in her own—and there we stood in the middle of the room, that beautiful patrician lady revealing the secrets of her heart to me, a humble domestic with the livery- badge of servitude on my back! Her counte- nance varied in expression with every successive detail of her confessions,—now mantling in blushes, and the eyes being downcast—now glowing with a fervid animation, and the gaze of those eyes fixed upon me—then relapsing again into confusion, accompanied by the soft,sinking of the voice, and by the veiling of the glances beneath the thick fringes of the eye-lids! I was filled with ineffable emotions. Though my previous suspicion was now fully cleared up, yet was I as confounded, as amazed, and as stupified as if the avowal to which I listened had been altogether unexpected. I felt proud and happy in one sense—sad and alarmed in another. It was natural that I should be flat- tered at what was passing: but not the less grieved. was I at thus hearing the revelation of a love which I felt my heart could not reciprocate. For that heart was filled with the image of Anna- bel; and I thought to myself that lost, degraded, and undone though Annabel were, it was as im- possible for me to cease from loving her as to ex- tinguish the light of the sun or quench its beams at noon-day ! “You do not answer me, Joseph ?” said Lady Calanthe, now trembling visibly from head to foot, as she gazed upon me with ineffable tenderness, and yet with a becoming virginal modesty over all. ‘‘ Banish from your mind the idea of what- soever inequality of social position may exist be- tween us!—think not of it! We stand now upon the same footing But perhaps you censider me guilty of unfeminine boldness in haying thus addressed you P” “Oh, no, dear lady !” I exclaimed, scarcely knowing what I did say: and then I stopped sud- denly short; filled with confusion—vexed and angry with myself for having suffered even those few ejaculatory Words to escape my lips: for I saw that they were instantaneously caught up by Calanthe as ai avowal of reciprocal affection. * Do not call me Jady,” she gently murmured, pressing my hand tenderly between both her own. “ Henceforth, whenever we may be alone together, there must be no cold formality on your side, I aii only Calanthe to you,” “But your ladyship ——_” “Oh! now, scarcely has the injunction been breathed, than you treat me thus!” she exclaimed, in a mild voice of reproach. “But let that pass. You will know me better soon, Joseph thank heaven, I see that I am not indifferent to you! you will learn to love me! And rest assured, dearest Joseph, that never, never shall I repent the avowal which I have this day made. Oh, no! my happiness is concerned thereinit is now eentred wholly and solely in you !” I knew not how to act. I was about to inform her, when she so suddenly interrupted me, that much as I was honoured and flattered by all she had said, 1 was incapable of reciprocating the sentiment she had avowed. But now I had not the moral courage to speak thus plainly. I could not, with a single word, destroy that happiness which she had just assured me was altogether centred in the feelings she entertained, and which those inconsiderate words of seeming endearment that I let drop, had led her to believe were fully and completely shared by me. And then too, I beheld her radiant under the influence of those feelings—I saw the animation of joy upon her beautiful countenance, its light swimming in her lustrous eyes ;—and I could not—no, I could not fling so cruel a damp upon all she thus expe- rienced! I was still a prey to an inexplicable confusion ; and it was natural that she should put upon my silence and my aspect an interpretation altogether consonant with the experiences of her own heart, “You must leave me now, Joseph — dear Joseph,” she said. ‘ Charlotte will wonder that you are here so long For heaven’s sake, do not by your looks excite her suspicions !” “No, no,” I exclaimed quickly; “not for worlds !”’—and. breaking abruptly from Lady Ca- lanthe, I rushed from the room. Feeling convinced that if at that moment I encountered Charlotte, she could not fail to read in my countenance that something extraordinary - had taken place, I sped up to my own chamber. 0)(0X) SS (E(0) im ;