Joseph Wilmot, or, The Memoirs of a Man-Servant — page 362: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JOSEPH WILMOT; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF A MAN-SERVANT, me still an inmate of that dreadful place? Was the day of appointment to go by without being kept by me !—would there be eyes looking out and hearts beating with suspense on the fifteenth of that month—but all in vain!—for I the expected one was not to make my appearance! Oh, now I grew fearfully excited as I thought of all this: and I felt that it was impossible to endure my position any longer. I must escape—Oh, I must escape! But how? Had not [ fruitlessly been seeking and pondering the means for six months ? and had I found the slightest avenue open for my egress? No—alas, no! How therefore could I now hope that success was all in an instant to crown my wish, simply because that wish had grown more excruciatingly poignant, if possible, than ever ? One morning an idea struck me: or rather I should say it seized upon me with a greater strength than ever it had put forth before: for it was not the first time that I had contem- plated it. But I now resolved to make the attempt at any risk. i have said that the entrance-gates were kept constantly closed and locked; and that there was a porter’s lodge close by. The porter him- self was a man of herculean stature and strength —one who had evidently been chosen for this par- ticular duty on account of his great physical powers. JI had ascertained that he had a stout staff as well as other weapons in his lodge; and he could not therefore be attacked with impunity. I knew likewise that if I did venture on such an at- tack and if I were to fail in it, I should at once be looked upon as a violent lunatic—a dangerous mad- man,—and that the straight-waistcoat would be put upon me. It was the awful horror which I entertained of this hideous coercive punishment, that had kept me back when on former occasions I had thought of playing a desperate game and endeavouring by force to clear for myself an avenue of escape. But now the eighth of November had arrived: it wanted only a week to the date fixed for my appearance at Heseltine Hall:—I felt my position to be desperate—and at all risks I was de- termined to make the attempt to which I have alluded ! I had lain awake the greater portion of the preceding night, tossing restlessly and uneasily on my feverish pillow; and I rose at a somewhat early hour in the morning in a state of mind which could not possibly maintain an artificial serenity. In short, I felt that I must do some- thing desperate in order to escape from the lunatic asylum.. It was a dull, miserable, misty morning, with a chill that went to the very marrow of one’s bones; and though at one moment I felt myself shuddering with the cold and my teeth cLattering, yet at another instant I was all in the glow ofa fever-heat. After my toilet was performed in the dark, I had to remain in my chamber till the dawn should glimmer; for I knew that any attempt to issue from the house at an unreasonable hour would at once excite suspicion. It was not there- fore until past eight o’clock that I thought it prudent to descend from my room. On reaching the hall, £ found one of the domestics unlocking and unbolting the front door; and he said to me, “It is a nasty raw morning, Mr. Wilmot: I should advise you not to go out, sir—you may catch cold.” aa Se ee 349 “You know,” I responded, “that whatever be the state of the weather, I always take a certain amount of exercise—without which I could not keep myself in health.” The man offered no farther remonstrance; and I passed out into the garden. I took two or three rapid turns in the grounds,—not merely to give a natural glow to my frame, and thereby nerve me for the struggle in which I was resolved to engage —but likewise that I might assure myself whether circumstances were favourable for the venture. Two of the gardeners were at work,—one in front, the other in the rear of the dwelling; and the former was not more than fifty yards distant from the porter’s lodge. I anxiously hoped that he might remove himself somewhat farther off: but on completing my third round, I perceived that he was still near the same spot;—and I saw that it was useless to delay my enterprise any longer. I accordingly began to saunter, as if in a leisurely manner, about the neighbourhood of the porter’s lodge: I affected to be examining the evergreens, and also the few flowers which still survived the decline of Autumn. The door of the lodge stood open as usual; and the porter was preparing his breakfast—for he was an unmarried man and lived all alone in that lodge. I gradually drew nearer to the door; and through the little window I now at length observed that he was kneeling down upon the hearth, blowing the fire with a pair of bellows. This was my opportunity. A quick glance flung at the gardener, showed that his back was towards me; and I glided into the lodge. The noise of the bellows prevented the porter from hearing my footsteps: I sprang upon him—hurled him upon his back—wrenched the bellows from his grasp—placed my knee upon his chest—and griping him by the throat, threatened to throttle him if he offered any resistance. At that very moment my keen look showed me that he was about to ery out for succour, and also to make a desperate effort: but mercilessly did I tighten my fingers around his throat, until the un- fortunate wretch began to grow black in the face, He made one tremendous convulsive movement to shake me off: but I felt that 1 had the strength of a thousand; and I continued to maintain my ascendancy—lI proved that I could overpower him. One knee was on his chest—the other, keeping down his right arm, held it powerless: my lett hand firmly grasped his left wrist—my right hand was at his throat: and thus we were—he alto. gether at my mercy so long as I retained that position. But if I moved, then might the ery for succour go forth from his lips—and I should be lost! Fool that I was—I had left the door stand- ing open ! “ Unless you. swear,” I said, clutching at the idea of coercing him by terror, “ that you will let me pass out in freedom, I will strangle you !” “ Go along with you, for heaven’s sake!” mur- mured the man, speaking with difliculty: “do what you like—but let me get up.” “You swear?’ I said, with the sternest exe pression of countenance. « Yes, I swear,” he responded. “You take God to witness P” I demanded. “T take God to witness!” he rejoined, as ho felt the pressure of my fingers again tightening about his throat in a most menacing manner. ——— ee Giook (CO)