The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 213: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| | | | aE ew a eel 202 TOE MYSTERIES, | pump to refresh my burning tongue. Then, as I | while the one saw two Sneaksbys and ten candles, Srank the cold water which my stomach loathed, I felt like brother Sneaksby again—that I. had a call. I heard of the New Lights—I repaired to Salem— and this revered gentleman at once took me to his home, and set steaks and bottled porter before me. Then I knew that a blessing attended upon the sect which he had founded ; and I unhesitatingly joined it. Oh! my dear Mr. Meagles—my Chrisuan sister, Lady Letitia Lade—with these striking examples before your eyes, can you hesitate to come amongst us? Most welcome will ye be—chosen vessels will ye prove aud the gold and silver which ye have promnised to give unto Salem will help to redeem other lost creatures, even as such a miserable sinner as Ichabod Paxwax has been brought to redemp- tion |” With this eloquent and touching peroration, the pious gentleman drained his tumbler and sate down. Meagles made a suitable response, and ended by proposing the health of Lady Lade Again were the tumblers filled and emptied ; and then the Amazon, having returned thaaks, insisted that a similar com- pliment should be paid to her friend Meagles. The more they drank, the less hesitation did the pious gentlemen exhibit in drinking deeper draughts ;— apd what with the toasts already enumerated, and Others subsequently proposed and honoured, both Mr. Sneaksby and Mr. Paxwax were in a very com- fortable condition indeed by the time Mrs. Pi; jJeberry and Wasp served up the promised banquet. The landlady seemed highly delighted to find her second-floor lodger on such excellent terms with the occupant of her first storey; and Wasp appeared literally bursting with the mischievous propensities to which he did not however dare give vent in the presence of his master. One little freak he did per- form allt the same; and this was to tread with all bis weight and force upon Mr. Ichabod Paxwax's toes— an incident for which he apologized with an appear- ance of the utmost sincerity, and which made that pious gentleman wriggle and twist for some moments in excruciating torture. At length the turkey, the chine, and the mashed potatoes, flanked by foaming tankards of brown stout and sparkling ale, were duly spread upon the hospitable board; and Mr. Nathaniel Sueaksby con- trived to place himself close to the Amazon, on whose charms his eyes had been dwelling for the previous half-hour with a gloating earuestness that was only subdued by the vacancy of incbriety. “Won't you ask a blessing, brother Sneaksby ?” said Mr. Ichabod Paxwax, his eyes watering with the pain so recently inflicted upon his corn, and his mouth watering likewise, but at the odour of the turkey. “ Hic—aye—verily, I was ob—liv—livious,” re- aponded the reverend gentleman; and, joining his hands, he muttered something which was so inter- spersed with “hics” that it was perfectly unintelli- gible. Mr. Paxwax, however, seemed satisfied; and moaned forth a guttural “ Amen” at the conclusion. Tim Meagles now carved the turkey: and the pious gentlemen did honour to the repast. Nor did they spare the brown stout, of which they seemed parti- cularly fond; and the heavy malt liquor, mixing with the wine which they had taken in no niggard Quantities, produced such an effect upon them that the other beheld two Paxwaxes and a dozen lights. | Meagles and the Amazon exchanged significant glances from time to time, testifying to each other | how intensely they enjoyed the evening’s proceed- ings; and the mischievous pair kept filling the pious gentlemen's glasses the moment they were emptied. | “ Brother Sneaksby,” at length said the stout and red-faced saint, “I pre—he—hic—sume that we shall now—hic—wind—hic—up, with sing—ing—ing the — —hic —dox — ox—ology.” f “Hold your tongue, brother Paxwax — you're drunk !” exclaimed the reverend minister of Salem Chapel, who at that moment had begun to press his knee gently against the Amazon’s. “Drunk !—me drank!” moaned the astounded Teabod, falling back in his chair and Isfting his hinds in horrified amazement. “Brother Sne —eaks —hicby—did you mean that for me?” “To besure I did—hic,” responded the reverend gentleman, carting a savage glance an his friend, . Drank —beastly drunk, I'say. Verily, Ich—hic— abod, thoa hast likened thyself unto filthy swine ™ | For afew seconds Mr. Paxwax gazed on his leader — with the vacant stare of stupid astonishment : then, alton a sudden giving vent to his feelings in a hol- ) low moan, he fell flat upon the floor. | “Dead drunk!” exclaimed Meagles; and Wasp being summoned to assist, the inebriated New Light was borne up-stairs to his pious friend's chamber, where he was undressed and put to-bed in a most hopeless state of intoxication, But scarcely had the door closed behind Meagles and Wasp, as they carried Mr. Ichabod Paxwax away between them, when the Rev. Mr. Sneakaby, apparently regarciess of his companion’s fate, turned towards Lady Letitia Lade; and, assuming as tender an expression as the peculiar configuration of his countenance and his own obfuscated ideas would per- mit, be said, “Yea, verily, sweet woman, thou art coinely to—hic—look upon. Bat doth not that tght fitting coat compress—ess thy form—hie— somewhat inconvenicatly 2?” “ Oh! not in the least, I can assure you,” exclaimed the mischievous Amazon, allowing him to press his kuee more closely still against her own, and bending upon him a look of encouragement “Of a surety I am surprised that thou art easy in such an attire,” continued Mr. Sneaksby, leaning forward: “methought it must be tight and even painful here.” And, as he spoke, be paseed his arm round the Am: zon’s waist; then, fisttering hiyeelf that as the only smiled gaily with her red lips ard her wicked ¢yes, she was far from offended at his pro- ceding, he prepared to refreah himself with the luxury of a kisa. But at the rame moment the huntreas raised her hand and dealt him such a smart and ringing box on the eara, that the pious gentleman was knocked. clean off his chair and levelled as completely with the floor as his friend Ichabad had been, though from another cause, before him. “ Holloal what's thco.matter?” exelaimed Mea- gies, returning to the room at the instant. "Only the Rev. Mr. Nathaniel Sneskeby making love to me,” responded the Amazon, almost suffo- cating with the hilarious laughter in which ehe now indalged, Meagiea comprehended what hed pemed; and nen i ee ee COMIC OOOKS.ECO