The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 293: what you’re looking at

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eomical up-and-down motion from his seat to the front of the platform. His presence nevertheless elicited immense applause, which he acknowledged with sundry low bows addressed to all quarters of the assembly. The Report set forth that during the year ending on that day the Society had enjoyed an increased amount of divine grace, the income being 300/. more than that of the previous year. (Cheers.) During the last twelve months the receipts had amounted to 7,5671. 3s. 24d.; and the expenditure to7,5672. 3e. 2d. Balance in the Treasurers hand, one halfpenny. (Cheers.) The salaries of Directors, Managers, Secretary, Auditors, Treasurer, and Clerk, amounted to 6,000/.: Rent of Offices, Stationery, and E:xtras, 5002.; Law Expenses, 5002 There then remained the handsome sum of 5672 Se. 2d. to d ia the distribution of Tracts; and he (Mr. Go Tump- kin») could congratulate the members of the Society upon having a balanee in hand. It was true that this balance was not considerable—indeed it waa only one halfpenny; still it was a belange—end be would defy their enemies to accuse them of being in debt. {Loud cheers.) When the applause had subsided, a stapt conse- quential-looking little man rose up fn the midst of the assembly, and desired to know how law expenses bo the amount of 500%. had been incugred, Mr. Sneakaby, as chairman, desired him not ta interrupé the proceedings; but the little gentlemag grew ex cited,-and insisted on having an answer—alleging that he was a subscriber of 5L a-year to the Society and had a right to knew how the money was ex- ded. pen , The Secretary, Mn Gotobed Tampkins, thereupon explaihed that am action had been brought againat that holy and pious vessel, the Rev. Mr. Nathaniel ‘Sneaksby, for the seduction of a amall tradesman’s wife; that the Committee of the Society, well con- vinced of their excellent pastor’s innocence, made the cause their own and employed the Soeiety’s so- licitor to manage the defence; that, when the case was tried, the Judge and Jury were evidently leagued together to oppress the guiltless Mr. Sneaksby; that a verdict was accordingly given against him; and that the Society had to pay the damages and costs in order to save the reverend gentleman from a prison. (Groans.) But Mr. Sneaksby was there— in the presence of his friends; and he (Mr. Gotobed Tumpkins) would ask whether he (the Rev. Na- thaniel Sneaksby) looked like a guilty man or not. “Innocent! innocent!’* ejaculated innumerable voices: while the object of this sympathy pursed up his mouth in so extraordinary a fashion that he cer- tainly bore at the moment a greater resemblance to a humbug than a saint. “T protest against adopting the Report with that tem of 5001. for law expenses,” exclaimed the short, fat, consequential-looking man, casting flerce glances arqgund. “] call upon this meeting —” “Order! order!” cried several voices, “Chair! chair!” vociferated others, “I call upon this meeting, I say,’ roared the little gentleman, becoming very red in the fece, “to take notice that a jury of his countrymen bas pronounced Nathaniel Sneaksby guilty of seducing a married woman——” “ Chair!” — “ Order!” — “ Chair ?’— Turn him out!” were the cries that now rose in quick succession from all parts of the meeting. THE MYSTERIES. “Yes—tum him out!” bawled Mr. Gotobed Tumpkins from the platform :—and the stout gentle- man was accordingly bundled from the hall, and thrast neck-and-crop into the street, with his coat slit up the back, his shirt-frill torn to shreds, and his hat as flat as a pancake. This little affair being settled, to the indescribable relief of the Reverend Mr. Nathaniel Sneaksby, the Secretary was about to resume his Report; when another member in the body of the hall stood up te make a few remarks. Undeterred by the example of the stout, consequential-looking gentleman, this indi- vidual began to exyatiate in an excited manner upon the monstrous extravagance evidenced in the admi- nistration of the Society ;—and he was in the midst of & comparison of the sum absorbed in salaries with that which remained to carry out the objects of he association, when the Reverend Mr. Sneaksby rose from his chair, exclaiming, “ Dear Christian friends, I put it to you whether this mest indecent—this most indeligate—thie most unheard-of interruption ought to continue ?” 4“ No—nol”-—* Qreder !*-—* Chair °—* Tum him out!” arose frova eyery direation ; and, in the twink- ling of an eye, the Opgosition-member was thrust violently towards the door—kieked ferociously dowa the etepe—and buadied igneminionsly out into tho street, in as migesable a plight as hie predecessor. Thies seeond epiaode, w aforded uncommon delight to the Amazon, being terminaged in so sum- mercy a manner, diz. Gotobed Tumpkins wes at length permitted te continue the reading of hie Report, which proceeded to set forth several examples and instances of the beneficial remlts achieved by the Society. We quote a few of tho specimens thas adduced. “ Case the Fird.—Jonatban Crick is a tailor by trade: age forty-seven. When a little turned of thirty, married a woman who proved to be mach given to drink. Yieldiag to the effects of evil ex- ample, Jonathan Crick became a drunkard like- wise, Neither he nor his wife ever went to church or chapel, and never gaw a religious Tract. His business went to ruin; and he passed through the Insolvents’ Court. Attributes his misfortanes to the want of religious Tracts. On coming out of prison, got a friend to be answerable for the rent of a small shop and to lend him a few pounds to stock it. But Mrs. Crick made away with every- thing she could lay her hand on in order to obtain drink. One day—nearly two years ago—one of the New Light's Tracts was left at Crick's shop. This was Tract 1237, hnaded The Plery Furnace. Mrs. Crick was sitting drank by the fire when the Tract was placcd in ner hands. She dropped it upon the grate: it caught a-light—she tried to save it—and the flamer were communicated to her dreas. Before assistance could come, she was burnt to death. This circumstance produced a great effect upon Mr. Crick’s mind; and being totally destitute of the wherewith even to buy bread, he resolved to abstain from strong drink. In dae time a pious widow, belonging to the New Lights visited the unhappy man with a bundle of the So- ciety’s Tracts. Crick knew her to be a a competency ; and he naturally felt interested ix her. They sate down together and read Tract 618, headed Balaam's Ass. Greatly refreshed, Mr. Crick besought the pious widow to kreel down and pray with him, ‘his she did; end every day NOOO) CO CO