The Mysteries of London; or, Lights and Shadows of London Life — page 200: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

+} 7 =_—_— — ———- - - - — ee es 194 The cynic was too much agitated to reply, which his lordship perceiving, good-naturedly left him and returoed to the party. At no period was conversation less rigid than about the middle of the last century, when phrases which would now banish the speaker to the kitchen or the stable were familiar in the saloons of the noble and even of the virtuous. It was not therefore to be ex- pected that the Cantabs, many of them young men with large fortunes, should assert a higher standard of morality than their elders; but even they were &t last disgusted by the gratuitous infamy of their despicable host, whose obscenity increased with the immoderate quantity of wine which, in spite of remonstrance, he persevered in drinking. “T can afford it,” he would exclaim, in reply to some well-meant hint; “ d——n, I have played the sober long enough. If I were to swim in claret I should only make up for lost time.” : Then he broke off into a snatch of some obscene song, and urged his companions to join in chorus. This con- tinued, till at Jast he became so intoxicated that he was unable to stand. “ Whatever our opinions of our host may be,” ex- claimed Lord Harry, “ we cannot leave him in thi: state; we must see him safely to his college; the air may refresh him ” *D—n him, leave him,” said another; “for my part I am disgusted with the hypocrite.” The more generous opinion, however, of Lord Harry prevailed; and after some little persuasion, Darwin was induced to accompany them. The quiet village of Chesterton was alarmed at the loud singing and bacchanalian shouts of the party, several of whom were intoxicated, although not to They at last reached the ferry and boat-house, and knocked up the man; thanks to whose care, and the assistance of the few who were sober, the whole party reached the common the extent of their host. in safety. It was now daylight. “ All’s right now, gentlemen,” said Lord Harry; “I am not in eollege. I wish you good-night, or rather goed-morning, and a safe delivery of your precious vargo. Take care of yourselves.” His lordship and the more sob2r ones of the party, who did not wish to risk an encounter with the proc- tors or their bull-dogs, made their way towards Jesus Lane. “ The hound!” said the young noble, alluding to his host, “Iam disgusted with him. I detest a canting rascal who does nothing but preach against pleasure and life’s innocent enjoyments. But even the fanatic _ is more to be tolerated than the hypecrite.” | added a third. “T for one shall cut him,” observed another of the party. “Digby and Fitzgerald have already done so,” “ Did you observe their look at Dar- win as they quitted the room? I pity the former from my soul; he was always citing the fellow as a pattern of virtue; he will look accursedly ridiculous now.” “Not half so ridiculous as the other will appear contemptible,” replied Lord Harry, upon whom the events of the night had made a salutary impression, “ Adieu.” The paths of the speakers being different here, they separated. Darwin, and the few who remained with him, pur- sued their way towards Garlick Fair Lane, but the air had produced a contrary effect to that anticipated. —— THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON, had indulged, and at last utterly incapable even of walking, “Linton,” exclaimed one of the young men, laugh- ing immoderately, as their host fell upon the grass, “you are the strongest, and must carry him.” “Indeed, lad—must 1!” replied the Scot coolly, regarding at the same time the drunken man with the greatest possible disgust. “ You must first pump upen him. Besides he is a commoner, and not enti- tled to noble supporters.” “ Bravo!” eried several who were not too drunk to understand the jest, for the speaker had a spark of that sly humour common to most of his “ Halloo!” roared Linton to a boy at a distance, who was driving a cow over the common towards the town, “Here is a conveyance for him. rode upon a bull, Silenus surely may be contented with a cow.” The boy and the cow came at the summons, and a bargain was struck for five The urchin grinned ; for it was not often that he had made such a morning’s work. The now insensible Darwin was ed upon animal’s back, and held on his seat by the stont arm of his conductor. Whether the motion increased the uneasiness of his stomach we do not pretend to say; but certain it is, that he became much worse, as, with his head hanging over the he approached the entrance to ity C His friends, satisfied with having seen him within sight of the gate, departed, leaving him to the especial care of the cow- boy. “Bless my soul!” exclaimed Mr. Professor Speen- lative, who had been one of Darwin’s great admirers, and always cited him as a pattern to the men, “ whom have we here? a gownsman of Taney on acow!l Where did you find the gentleman, boy The speaker, who was an early riser, was just about to sally forth for his morning’s walk, | “With never so many more, sur,” grinned the rustic; “they wor all drunk.” F By this time the porter had come up, and began to . reconnoitre the cow and its rider. “Bless me!” said the man; “it can’t be! Yes, it is, though.” “ Who is it, porter, that thus disgraces his college?” demanded the professor, “ Mr. Darwin, sir.” “ Mr. Darwin!” repeated the now equally astonished Speculative; “impossible; you must be mistaken, Quiet, man.” “oelaal “It is,” repeated the porter, secretly well pleased at the exposure, for Darwin had never been liberal to him in the way of fees; “I could hardly believe my eyes at first myself, sir, But woat am I to do with him ?” “Call his gyp, and see him to bed.” “Is the cow to go into college, sur?” demanded the boy, scratching his head, The learned professor, who was also tutor to his college, either heard not or pretended not to hear the question, and left the two beasts to be dealt with by the porter, CHAPTER VI. “When Greek meets Greek, then comes the tug of war.” Ir was some time efter the departure of Gipsy George before Lawyer Prim recovered from the con- sternation into which the visit had thrown him. He | He became miserably ill from the excess in which he | felt that he was doubly a COIMNIGDOOKSec .