5 Detective Novels Magazine Cover — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LONG ARM OF THE LAW FIVE Virginia hospital orderlies were seized by police for using embalming alchohol in the morgue for drinking purposes. A KENTUCKY man was arrested for working both ends against the middle—he worked in a distillery during the day and sold moonshine at night. AN IRISHMAN who needed hair to line a horse collar, was taken before the bar of justice for clipping the tails of four ponies which happened to come by his farm. AN OKLAHOMA resident was carted off to a jail cell for drunken and reckless bicycle riding. say FOUR Vancouver citizens were seized by officers for pushing each other into a zoo moat in order to entertain the inhabitants of the monkey house. IN OKLAHOMA, a bootleg suspect was given a 10-day jail sentence for consuming the half pint of “evidence” against him dur- ing a recess in his trial. AN ENGLISH tattooist was arrested for needling a design on a lady on such a spot that she can’t wear low-necked dresses with- out causing comment. Th | | L Z ~ ) { vo \ Uy, \ Ma pt . Mie, y : TT La) es fy , ’ “, Hi , ‘ of e A MICHIGAN man was carted off to court for making his wife move 26 times in order to avoid bill collectors. THE MALE half of a deaf Chicago couple was taken before the judge for speaking to his wife in abusive sign language. AFTER THE entire police force of an Indiana town took a competitive examination, a patrolman was promoted to chief and the ex-chief was demoted to pounding a beat. AS A law-abiding San Diego motorist came to a stop at an intersection, was about to turn and held out his arm as a signal— somebody came along and snatched off his wrist-watch. @ HARTFORD, CONN., police are looking for a strong-backed thief who made off with a 300-pound anvil. THE police chief of a city in Washington ordered appropriate decorations for the walls of the jail’s cell for drunks—pink elephants and green snakes! OWNERS of a grocery store in Anchor- age, Alaska, expressed the wish that burglars would pick on someone else for a change. The store has been burglarized nine times over the period of a year. 9 GO NOOO S (C@)