Adventure Magazine Cover, December 18, 1919 — page 141: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Think you’re funny, don’t you?” asks Magpie. “Get this inside your barren skull, little one: This is a cross between a circus and a carnival and tomorrow she helps to entertain the old-timers. Sabe?” “Smells like a cross between a pole-cat and ancient eggs,” says Scenery. “ Re- move it from our fair city to once!”’ “Away from here? What do you mean, feller?” “T’m running this celebration.” ery pats himself on the chest. Judge Steele inaugurates same and we has the say-so. Sabe? We adjudicates against anything that ain’t our own do- ings. In the first place, you ain’t got nothing that attracts us, and in the sec- ond place, as the sheriff, I rules against what you have got. You can’t show in the city of Piperock while £8 I saw Alcibiades working closer and closer to Scenery, but I didn’t think it was any business of mine to warn the law. It was nice team-work between Alcibiades and Cleopatra, if anybody asks you. “ The elephant just wrapped its trunk around Scenery, slammed him up against the cage and he don’t no more than hit the bars when a pair of paws come out and shucks the lower half of Scenery plumb to his birthday suit. Then Alcibiades cracked the whip with the sheriff, and when he lit twenty feet away he still retains his boots, shirt and an idea of the general direction home. “Good work!” applauds Bosco, stick- ing his head out from under the canvas. “Things like that.never happen in a car- nival,”’ : “You hang around here very long, Scen- Bosco, and you'll see a lot of things’ what never happen any place else,” says Magpie. We've just got one tent up when here comes Judge Steele. He hauls out a sheet of paper, balances his glasses’on his nose and reads: “To whom it may concern or annoy: “Be it knowed this day and date that the city of Piperock, according to the laws of the State of Montana and the rights of humanity, does here and hereby announce to all and sundry, that on the fifth day of August, being to- morrow, there will not be tolerated within our sacred precincts anything of the circus nature. Be it further knowed that the city of Piperock does not hanker for anything of like nature and will not tolerate same. This aforemen- “Me and > Playing Safe in Piperock ‘ 127 tioned city is aiming to play safe for once, and no questions asked. “Signed by Lindhardt Cadwallader Sims, sheriff, and wrote out by Judge Steele, notary public. Amen.” “Is there anything else that. Scenery wants ?” asks Magpie. “He said something about a pair of pants, I believe.” ; | Just then cometh Tombstone, Ace- High, Slow-Elk and Hip-Shot. They stops and considers Alcibiades and then wanders over to us. “That ultimatum ain’t hardly square, judge,” complains Magpie. “Me and Ike has expended a enormous amount of time and capital on this stupendous aggrega- tion of wonders and we've done it all that you might have:a enjoyable day. It has cost us a e-normous amount of wasted energy, and in the event that we can’t exhibit here we are broke, busted and worn to the bone.” “Who says you-all can’t show off here ?” asks Hip-Shot. “It has beén so adjudicated by the sheriff,” states the judge. “I wrote her out and I know there ain’t no loop-holes in same. Scenery has decreed that this circus ain’t going to show here, and I represents his feelings.” “No circus, eh?” says Hip-Shot. “I pines for a circus. Haw about you fel- lers?” “Like a calf for its maw,” agrees Slow-Elk. “I ain’t never seen no circu- rious, Hip-Shot, but since you spoke I’ve begun to hanker awful for one. Let’s have one.” “It must be so,’ nods MHip-Shot. “We'll have her.” “You might talk to the sheriff,” says the judge. “Talk !” erunts Hip-Shot. “Come on, Slow-Elk.”’ They pilgrimed away and the rest of us sets down and rolls smokes. “T just wants to know,” says Ace- High nervous-like, “I just wants to know if there is anybody here except me and Tombstone and the judge and Magpie and Ike? Five is maybe all that is here, but I feels that I’d like to be sure.” “Much obliged, Ace-High,” says Tombstone. “You've got more nerve than I have. Is it or ain’t it?” — EOPNICG MOO! < (E(o) SE Sr Bak a Ca, SR ET ot eS er ee ay ee eee