Adventure Magazine Cover — page 104: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ae > wt - “ad > a Pe a) ~ Pele # “= > a ose ake +. a y oF LTS fea) § fone { Pe B ‘i ay SAY Tae gC i>) bay Pas 5 *h é $% Pt AL rae 2 a ee Mekal i i v . 028 \ i > * % sala ¥ . getty? ‘ 4 » fia ae patos) ce ba . j ; r o po . ad he Bed ‘ ‘to become a Lizard.’ be in this life, Magpie. supposed to protect?” “The Imperial Temple of the Loyal Legion of Lizards.” Hassayampa opens his mouth to say some- thing and then fusses in his pocket until he finds a piece of paper. He looks at us and then reads: « “Beans, flour, hominy, prunes, bacon and dried apples. Thank gosh, I’m still sane enough to read my supply list. So-long.” Hassayampa crosses the street. I says to Magpie— “What did that title cost you, Unlimited?” “The complete instructions, et cettery, cost me one hundred dollars.” “How do yuh reckon you’re going to get even?” , “Even! Say, Ike, it’s the biggest proposition you ever seen. Come on down to the cabin and I'll explain. I figure you in on this, old-timer, and I excuse you for making me hit you with that pitcher.” ~ “You’re welcome, but don’t figure me, Mag- pie. Vl go down to the cabin and move out my other overalls and boots. I’m all through, finished and done. Sabe?”’ “Not after you sees into the scheme, Ike. She’s a mint.” “Scenery” Sims is there at the cabin and him and Magpie goes through them motions with their fingers. “What s his title?” I asks. “Scenery is the Grand Imperial Chancellor of the Temple.” “Any more titled snake-hunters around here?” “We're the only two,” squeaks Scenery. “We’re om-nippy-tent, ain’t we, Magpie?” “Vea. We are the forerunners of a great enterprise, Scenery.” “You’re a pair of half-witted woodchucks,” says I, hunting for my extra pair of boots. “What is the big idea?”’ “Never mind them old boots,” says Magpie. “Set down here at the table and let me explain it to you. Now, Ike, I asks you to tell me how many Piperockers has shuffled off this mortal coil in the last two years.” “Why ask me about death?” I asks. “None,”’ squeaks Scenery like he’d discovered a new island. “Some danged close calls,” says I. © “Close don’t count in nothing but pitching horse-shoes,” says Magpie. “Here is the idea: The Loyal Legion of Lizards is what is knowed as a benevolent order. It means life insurance, Ike. Me and Scenery has figured’it all out. We paid a hundred dollars for the charter and business, and the benevolent part is all our own doings. I got the blanks printed at Silver Bend. “A feller comes to us and says, ‘I am wishf1 He gets examined by What temple are you Adventure Doc Milliken, who looks him over for symptoms cf spavin, et cettery, and if he passes we initiates him into the order. ‘“‘Then he pays us five dollars a month and we agrees to pay. him, at the time of his demise, five hundred dollars in a lump. We has plans to give Thatcher’s orchestra a membership free, which don’t insure them, and also a free mem- bership to the Cross J quartet. By so doing we has our music furnished free, and we sure has a quartet which can sing at funerals.” “Not at mine,” says I. “I want a quiet funeral, without no casualties but me.” ‘‘Ain’t she some scheme, Ike?”’ asks Magpie. “Suppose we gets a hundred men to join. That’s five hundred a month, ain’t it? Ain’t that six thousand per year?” ‘Where do I come in, Magpie?” I asks. “Vou’ve got three hundred in the bank, ain’t you? We'll give you a title and let you in ona third interest. Sabe?” “Not with my money, Magpie! Nota chancé in the world. That little old grubstake stays right there. Sabe? You're got a siren’s voice, but this time my ears are full of alkali dust. My manitou says for me to hang on to what I’ve got, and my medicine is good. This is one time that Ike Harper don’t assay a trace of affection for your nice little scheme.” Magpie gets up and leans across the table. “Tke, do you mean to set there and tell me that you refuse riches? ‘‘Ain’t you got foresight enough to see your- self ‘setting on a plush chair while the money rolls in? Think, you fool! Me and you has been pardners in misery so long that I’d almost go down on my knees and beg you to come in with us, but I won’t de it, Ike. Nope. No, I won’t go down on my knees to you, you ossified hoot-owl. Do you know what I am going to do, Ike?” “Yes,” says I, “I know. What is my position in the scheme?” “Now, that’s talking sense, Ike. You'll be engaged in going out among ’em, and talking em into the fold. You will describe the beauties of the Legion until they begs to be let in.” “In plain United States, I pays three hun- dred for a pedler’s license, eh? How many members has you got already?” “None. The field is virgin, brother. We'll open for business in the Mint Hall tonight; so go ye out and gather them in.” “Ts anybody barred?” “Not to begin with, We may find flaws in their title later on.’ “VYou’ve wished wealth upon yourself,” squeaks Scenery. “Veah, that may be,” says I, “but I won’t live to enjoy it.” “Write yourself a policy,” advises Scenery, but I slammed the door and went towards town. I ain’t been in Piperock for two months, GComicboo S (F@ ’ ’ sey £) ty by dtd TN MSRM pert Uh ‘ vos Ws Oy ont i