Adventure Magazine Cover — page 82: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

76 spillin’ lead up and down the street ain’t gettin’ her a place to lay her head, is it?”’ “Tf she only wants to lay her head—” | begins Chuck; but Muley steps on Chuck’s ankle and shoves him aside. ‘“Ma’am, I apologizes for my friends. They mean well, but they ain’t got no sense. Now, it appears to me that you are lookin’ for a place to sleep.” “Tt took that idea a long time to appear to you, Muley,” says Magpie. ‘“‘Jist in what shape did you get this here bright vision? I don’t think that Piperock needs any assistance from the Cross J cow-outfit when it comes to housin’ our guests. I'll take care of Miss Harrison, y’betcha.”’ “Can’t she get a room at Sam Holt’s place?” asks Chuck, serious-like. “Ma Holt,” says Magpie, winking at Chuck; “Ma Holt says that every room is full.” Chuck wiggles his ears at Magpie and then looks over toward the hotel. Then he grins and says: “You wait, will yuh? I sabe the cure for that.” : CHUCK goes over to the hotel, and in a few minutes him and old Sam comes over to us. Old Sam says— “Ma’am, we’ve got a vacancy and can sleep yuh fine.” Chuck grabs her valise, and him and the lady and old Sam beats it for the hotel. “Now, what in did Chuck do to cause such a condition?” wonders Magpie. “Chuck lied,” declares Muley. ‘The son-of-a-gun lied; but what did he lie about?” 3 Naturally none of us knowed, so we went over to Buck’s place and had a drink. We waited around for Chuck, but he didn’t show up; so me and Magpie went home. IT said “home,”’ but it wasn’t home any more. Magpie got dissatisfied right away. “Hawg-pen,”’ says he. “Anybody could tell that hawgs lived here. Lawd never in- tended for men to live alone this away.” “You living alone?” I asks. “You don’t count, Ike. A man like me kinda pines for the soft things of life.” “Mush?” “Mush! Naw-w-w! your belly, Ike. nothin’ to you.” “Tt don’t mean nothin’ to her, Magpie; so it’s fifty-fifty. Have you gone and fell Always thinkin’ of A woman don’t mean Adventure into love again? Why, you danged old gray-backed pack-rat!”’ “Age ain’t no barrier to happiness, Ike. It ain’t kind of you to point out a man’s failin’s thataway. Love knows no barriers.” “Nor nothin’ else, Magpie.” Magpie Simpkins is about six feet and a half in his socks, and he’s built on the principle of the thinnest line between two points. He’s just got hips enough to hold up his cartridge-belt—if he’s careful. His face is long and his mustaches look plumb exhausted from just hanging down past his mouth. His mind is full of odds and ends that never fit into anything. A ordinary man in love can be handled, but Magpie ain’t ordinary. Love is quick- sand and no help in sight to that hombre. I’ve herded him past several affairs of the heart, liver, and lungs, but each time the ‘attack is harder. The D. T’s are a cinch beside what that pelican suffers when the little fat god of love stings him with a poisoned arrow. Mostly always I hangs a extra gun to my, ° belt and fills my pockets with rocks. Listen to reason? Say, that feller’s ears don’t hear nothin’ but “‘love, honor and obey”— that, and the church bells ringing. I went to bed that night, leaving him setting on the steps, talking to himself about the gentle touch of a woman’s hand. I asked him if he remembered the one what “touched” him in Great Falls. There wasn’t anything gentle about that one, being as she took his watch and three hun- dred dollars. That was another case of love at first sight, and then he went blind. As I said before, bad news travels fast. The next day is Sunday, but that ain’t no excuse for every puncher from Silver Bend to Yaller Horse to come to Piperock. I don’t think sthat the Cross J bunch went. home Saturday night. | Sam Holt never sold so many breakfasts before in his life. Some of them hair-pant specimens ate two or three times. Muley Bowles comes back to Buck’s place with his belt in his hand, and groans when he tells me that he thinks he got ptomaine poisoning for breakfast. “You done et three orders of ham and aigs,’’ says Hen. “You say ‘ham and aigs’ to me again and Ill massacree yuh, Hen.”’ Magpie comes back from breakfast and acts kinda sad-like. Gomicbook (C@