Adventure, February 20, 1922 — page 83: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wisé Men. and a Mule = ; 81 pertaining to or being of a Pipercock enter- tainment. We will not do this nor that, and neither will we do thus and so. We will toil not and neither will we spin to any extent. Our hearts, are hard and our minds are made up like a mule’s.”’ . “Better wait, until you’re asked,” advises Magpie. “No trouble to sound a warning,” says Dirty Shirt. “You’d ask in vain, Magpie,” says I. “T am full of wisdom ? | “Don't argue with that animated flag- pole,” says Dirty. ‘You never get*no esas talkin’ back to him, Ike.” Dirty was right. I might as well argue with the shadder of death, because Magpie can’t hear nothing but his own voice in a argument, and he knows he can hoodle me into places where an angel couldn’t find footing nor room to flop it’s wings. I’m sleeping real hard when Magpie comes home that night, and he proceeds to sit down on me, yanks my off ear and yells— “Tkel”’ I shoves him off and sets up, covering him with my gun. “Ike,” says he, sober-like, “what is there around here that looks the most like a ca-mel?” “It’s a neck-and-neck race between you and Maud S.” “Thanks.” HE TAKES off his clothes and goes to bed, kinda chuckling to himself. Maud S wasn’t no relation to the famous trotting mare of the same name, unless you figure back to the dim and distant past to the time when the devil got sore at a balky horse. He tried to haul it along by the ears, but the horse dug in his hoofs, the~same of which stretched them ears a heap. When the devil saw what he’d done, he laughed. The horse, being kinda sore, ruined it’s vocal cords mocking the devil’s laugh. That’s how we got our first mule. . Looking at Maud S from all angles I’d opine that she was the second mule. Maudie was long. I don’t think I ever seen so much mule all in one piece. Maud’s ' neck was long and looked like it might fall off any old time and bust her crop-eared head. Her feet never wore shoes, and the ends of her hoofs turned up like the ends of = snowshoes. Maud was cock-eyed in her one glass-eye, and her heart was bitter to- ward mankind. : Wick Smith owned her. He tried ‘to sell her to a Piegan Indian, but the old buck got one look at her and said— “Diaub seahhost! Klahowya!”’ The same of which means— “Eyes of the devil! Good-by!’ , Of course Maud ain’t no camel, but she ain’t so danged far removed as yuh might — think. The next morning Magpie gets a heap enthused over their meeting. | . “We sure planned out some /y-iu festival. Goin’ to be great, Ike. Sacred, solemn and | satisfactory from all points of the compass.”’ “Undertakingly speaking?” “Not this time. There ain’t going to be no guns allowed. Every puncher will have ~ to leave his gun at the door. See the idea?. Bill Thatcher says he won’t bring no or- chestra, but we’ll have one just as good. Ricky Henderson has mastered the flute, - ss ¢ Aw . . a ; : ~ : 4 2s v7" Wee ? CAA , - , ) i fers , F ; j ; t i ] N ri “ ey ‘ : - 74 . ve : ; : Pn ‘ , iv .* LAL i> > - % ts ae" v 4 ik ys PAM i. S + ' : J wy t die Wi. - r 4 ot as * ph a eo Ty Se“ . : 7 u Va el . On iv? «" V7: ve “ay ST 4 w , : t i» “vo wa. eh 4 ‘ * ht , <F 5 ° , i - 1h te : sak (a ; A A b ’ nie th c 4 ¥. a . \ So f fia : 4 ’ ee and Wick Smith’s new drum is due here ~ today.” | ee “That’s a of a orchestra.” 2a “Yeah? ‘Frenchy’ Deschamps fell outa with Bill Thatcher, and he’s goin’ toplay = «-_—> his jews-harp i in our orchestra. That makes —— three-good pieces for our side, Ike.” = = “Tin whistle bass drum anda pheumonia noise.”’ then ‘“Mm-m-m-m, well, it won’t be no Suzer’s — band, that’s a fact, but it’ll be music. = Matilda Mudgett is going to sing some- nee thing sacred, and Wick says’ that his wife Ss wants to recite.” = 4 “Anything that Matilda couldsing would seem sacred,” says I. Ss “She could sing the ‘Lone Star Trail’ and make it sound like ‘Rock of Ages!’ Magpie, a face like her’s would drive the evil from a burro’s soul.” “Uh—I almost forgot, Ike. to be a wise man.’ “Youre danged well right I am. I’m going to be so wise that I won’t be within seven miles of here on Christmas Eve. I rg S ain’t going to be wise—I’m wise right now.’ = 2 “You and ‘Dirty Shirt and Half Mile : = Smith.” : ee “‘No-0-0-0-0!” “Tf you’d rather have some other two — men—get ’em, Ike. I’m leavin’ that part of it to you.” | “‘No-o-o-o! I won’t speak to nobody. I’m, deaf and dumb. You and your enter- tairlment can ‘80 plumb——” — i d _* a ’ wie o ‘ sf You're going. Comicbooks