Adventure, February 20, 1922 — page 87: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

:““What do we wear?” I asks. ““My wife is makin’ the costumes out of gunny-sacks,” says Wick. “We've got to have something what looks like presents,” opines Testament. “T’ve got a picture, which shows a lot of vases and stuff like that.” “My wife’s got some stuff that will be just the cheese,” says Wick. ‘“We’ll use some of her chiny vases,” ‘““‘What do we have to say?” asks Scenery. “Ike will do the sayin’,” says Magpie. “He'll be the one what wakes up first and he will say—uh—what was it, Testament?”’ _ “Lo, there shineth a bright light. Let’s go to it.” “My——!” gasps Dirty Shirt, pious-like. “But save the wimmin and children first.” “Tt’s sure goin’ to be a wonderful thing, and will teach a moral,”’ says Testament. “Yes,” says I. “And the moral is: Let well enough alone.” “T’d ought to say them words,” squeaks. Scenery. “I think a thing like that needs appropriate gestures, and I’ve studied ——”’ “Might be better,” says Wick. “Gestures helps a lot. Remember Willyum Jennin’s Bryan, when he was preachin’ fer silver. If Scenery would sort of loosen up his vocal cords a littlhe——”’ “Let him say ’em,” says I. “Td hate to pass out with them words on my lips. Scenery, you’re elected.” “All right,”’ squeaks Scenery. up my ellie-cushun a little. kinda rusty, you know it.” “Yeah,” admits Magpie, “and kinda squeaks. You don’t need study—you need some kerosene and then a application of axle-grease, Scenery.” The next morning we took Maud S up the steps into the hall, and I’m here to say that Maud S made life miserable for us. A mule is hard to argue with on the level, but try getting one half-way up a stairs and have it stop to think. We took Maud S in sitting down, bucked her onto the stage, where she lays down and refuses to get up. “Fine!” says Wick. We “won’t have to hawg-tie her.” “Stage fright,” opines Magpie. “Safety first, ” says I. instincts, and her’s is to get below the line of fire.” Me and Dirty meets the Cross J TaQrtes, and they’re getting cheerful. “T’ll study Feller gets “Animals have : Wise Men and a Mule 85 “No,” says Muley, ‘‘we ain’t goin’ to no celebrashun. They have done us dirt and © we sickens to our soul at their per-fid-i-tee.” — “‘Sheveral per-fid-i-tees,”’ nods Telescope. “Group aroun’ me while we shing a shong of gladness over the merry Chris’mas time. All together now: “Oh, the coyote said, I’m better than a puncher, With a gun that goes blam, blam! He may die and .g0 up to seh , But his skin ain’t worth a “You sure does get into the Christmas spirit,” opines Dirty. “That’s one of the sweetest things I ever heard. x THEN I calls Dirty outside, and I says to him, like this: “Dirty, me and you have got to stay sober. A drunk ain’t goin’ to have no chance a-tall in there if anything goes wrong. If we hangs around with them celebratin’ shorthorns we won’t be in no shape to get — up and foller that star. We’ll be just like Maud §S, which can’t or won’t get up.” “That’s right, Ike. quarts for ourselves and keep away from them hard drinkers. Don’t yuh reckon Maud S will get up at the right time?” “She’s plumb rooted, Dirty.” “Uh-huh. I know how to do it, Ike. Come on.” Dirty went over to Wick’s store, and later on I meets him; and we goes up to my cabin. We’ve got them two quarts of hooch, so we has quite a little time of our own, waiting until the afternoon gets to the sere and — yaller leaf. I wakes up and finds Dirty with flour all over his clothes, but he won’t tell what he’s trying to do. Magpie hunts us up and acts peevish toward us. “Gosh a’mighty,” he complains. yuh got no sense? We’re tryin’ to re-hearse and you fellers hide out down here. Come 3 on.”’ We just gets to the door, when we meets Muley Bowles. “Fr th’lasht time—do we shing?” asks Muley. | ~*VYou do not!” declares Magpie. ci | thought you knowed that, Muley.” “May you resht in peash, ” says Muley. “May your anchestors rise up and mock you for bein’ a —— fool. schpeakin’: Pw We'll get a couple of | Autographically — Ls ~ f } a ‘ } dy Ns ‘ . SIA OR eT ACATS hE ‘ i - ir ee 44 é “ a’ Se a ® Wa rr ee ay : “4 er a “Ero % . en * ’ Piha s Wem dz tem tal fi Abe ee aL ee ear ee! iT a oe o ~. : * a = » ie - o - Se" “ e « = eS Se = = ROM ie | GO palliele Xe (2) CSa(EC) Wig LM Pa be) ae,