Adventure Magazine Cover, November 10, 1924 — page 75: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tales of the Hot Dog Tavern 7 “Vou know, I'd never thought of that, and when she put it to me, flat, > I promised her that I’d reform, forever and forever. ( I kept my promise well, at home, but when upon my truck I'd roam, }\_ My tongue would get away from me in spite of my endeavor. 1a. For when the traffic had me stalled and other drivers yelled and bawled “- eA = A string of purple oaths at me, I rapidly unloaded .. A line of language mighty quick with curses long and wide and thick; B* => For if I'd kept ’em bottled up I woud have plumb exploded. . “T turned things over in my brain; and then I saw my course was plain: I couldwt drive and keep my vow—that's straight and on the level. From which yow’ll see quite plainly how I took the job I’m holding now, Where cops and trucks and trolley-cars won't wake my sleeping devil. I might have had a place that’s swell, a waiter in a fine hotel, But I preferred this roughneck joint where I could soothe my spirit By hearin’ others get away with things Pve promised not to say. I never use such language, but it warms my heart to hear i.” This is no epic to John Barleycorn, Nor any valedictory forlorn To alcohol. I do not seek to rend Your hearts with lamentations for a friend Who, take it all in all, was mostly false. I am no bard who splendidly exalts The creed of Bacchus, or who sings of Booze As glorious nectar we should weep to lose. He gave us moments that were purest gold, But made us pay for them a thousandfold, And when you foot the total that he lost us, His favors were not worth the price they cost us. Yet when, at times, we chance to reminisce We can recall some hours we’d hate to miss— Hours that were spent at tables or at bars Discussing Venus or extolling Mars, With something more than ginger ale to sip And give a tingle to the throat and lip. So when I sing the Hot Dog Tavern’s praise, I do it in remembrance of the days When such a place was found on every street, A sort of center where mankind could meet Upon one level; and I do not fret With either moralizing or regret But tune my lyre, and chronicle in song Something that will be history, ere long. Now to my tale, I pray you pardon me For this digression of philosophy. Wherever men foregather, night or noon, For social talk or drink, you find them soon Demanding song, and if there chance to be A member of the merry company With skill to lead a chant, or bang the keys To coax a tune from out the ivories, He will be king of revels. There was one Who guided thus the Hot Dog Tavern’s fun. He was a checker in the yards, his hands COMICLMOOKKS.GO 5}