Adventure Magazine Cover — page 165: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

When ‘East Met West collar around his neck and a set of tugs sailin’ out behind, holdin’ a hame in each hand, like a man carryin’ two flags. I fell down twice before I got outside, where I found Dirty and Wick. Wick got a tug caught in the sidewalk and ain’t got sense enough to Jet loose of the hame. There he is, yankin’ and haulin’, while Dirty is standin’ in front of him, legs wide apart, wavin’ his hat in Wick’s face and ellin’. “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, you fool!” I fell over the tug and sat down on the edge of the sidewalk. Dirty manages to get Wick calmed down, and we looks each other over. Dirty has got a pair of sleeves on, but no shirt. His jiggly eye does a lot of cavortin’, as he looks at me. : “T never expected to see any of us alive,” says he. “You don’t need to start cheerin’,” says I. “What in —— was the matter, Wick?” “Tenorance!” snorts Dirty. “If I didn’t know any more natural history than that Vd hang my head in shame, Wick. You tied him up, did yuh? Well, by golly you ort to find out which is the head end of a elephant. You tied him by the tail.” “Well, I-I-I-I tut-tied him,” wails Wick. “Ends don’t mean nothin’ to me. They both hang down. The only danged way I can tell which is which is to give it some hay and see which end turns toward it. He didn’t kill either one of yuh, did he?” “Don’t give Gunga Din any credit,” says ft. “Tf that back door hadn’t been shut I’d be in Canada right now. Go back and make pets of them things, if you must, but spare me from havin’ anythin’ more to do with ’em.”’ We helped Wick back into the stable, stole a bottle of horse liniment and went home to recuperate.. Dirty walks like his rudder was cramped just a little, and ’m kinda reared back to take the strain off my shoulders, hips and ankles. 4 1T WAS kinda late that evenin’ 4 whenmeand Dirty limped up to the _ Mint Hall and found Piperock as- ” sembled. Magpie is on the plat- = and the argument seems to be gettin’ warm. On the platform with him is Mrs. Wick Smith and Miss Jasmine Greenbaum. When she sees us, she hops off the platform, comes and leads me and Dirty up to the front of the room and asks us to sit down. 163 “These two gentlemen have offered to help me in this,” saysshe. “They have the interests of Piperock at heart. I know they are brave and full of courage, and for that reason I have selected them.” “Brave and full of courage!” snorts Yuma Yates. “Full of rheumatism, from the way they walk.” “T’m goin’ to remember most everythin’ I hear said here,’ says Dirty. ‘“That’s re- mark number one, Yuma.’ ‘““My list shows number one for Yuma Yates,” says I. Magpie hitches up his belt and moves to the edge of the platform, where he glares at me and Dirty Shirt. “Threats are out of order,” he tells. us. “Piperock is passin’ from such things. From now onward we. are promoters of brotherly love—not battle. Heed this and save yourself trouble. We welcome both to the fold, and thank yuh for offerin’ yore assistance to Miss Greenbaum. Sin- cereky yours, Piperock Chamber of Com- merce.” | “Tn reply to yore letter of today,” says I, “T can say that yore fold don’t appeal to us; so am sendin’ it back by return mail. Sin- cerely yours, Ike Harper and Dirty Shirt Jones. P. S. And if you. don’t know what Tmean—ask us.’ Magpie glares at us for several moments and then turns to Miss Jasmine. “Miss Greenbaum,”’ says he, “I told you that I was sure them two jiggers was drunk when they offered to help yuh. Probably they’ll deny ever sayin’ it now.” Dirty Shirt hops to his feet. “Magpie Simpkins, yo’re a—a—exag- geratin’ things. By golly, we said we'd help Miss Greenbaum, and we'll do it. Anythin’ she asks us to do is jist the same as done. Ain’t that right, Ike?” “Well,” says I, “I hate to have any- body doubt that I don’t know what ’m sayin’—drunk or sober. I’m with you, Dirty.” ; “T knew it,” says Miss Greenbaum. “TI knew they would do it for me. It isn’t often that I make a mistake in human nature. When I first saw these two gentle- men, something told me that they were to be depended upon. Mr. Harper and Mr. Jones, I thank you.” “You “Yo’re welcome,” says Dirty. “Well, now that we’ve settled that part a, i ts Te ge Sa a A ES Re i 4 we ee rT sure are awiul welcome.” Gomicbooks.com