Argosy All-Story Weekly, April 19, 1924 — page 125: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GENTLE “Let go!” Poppy bellows, see-sawing back and forth. ‘If I do,” Joe says, “ you got to behave yourself. I ain’t here to hurt nobody. I never meant to hurt nobody in my life.” Then he lets go of Poppy and starts to turn back to slam the bag some more. But One- round is so red-headed with the heat he reaches for Joe, jerks him ’round and wal- lops him right in the ear. Right there was where the cannons roared. Joe jumps right up in the air like he is on some rubber springs. ‘You dirty coyote!” he screams. ‘‘ That’s my sore ear.” Then he lets go; and for two minutes him and Poppy has the greatest slugging match I has ever seen. One-round of course knows more about the game and more about defense than Joe, and he was pretty wicked at in-fighting. But it didn’t do him a bit of good, for the harder he hit the madder Joe got. And as Poppy jabbed in a cruel right and came back with a pile-driving left, Joe comes up under him, and you can think I lie or not, but Poppy went up in the air about two feet—and when he hits, everything in the gym rattles. Then Joe rushes right over to the punchin’ bag and tears into it—and a minute later we has to pick it up on the other side of the room. For a little while I thinks he is goin’ to clean out the whole gyin; and when I backs up and looks round to see where the rest of the boys are, I sees them exiting in a hurry out the near- est door. “ Listen, Mr. Bocker!” Joe yells at the top of his voice, jumping up and down and swinging his arms. ‘I ain’t here to hurt nobody, but these fellows can’t make fun of me. If you want me to be a prize- fighter, they got to let me alone. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but he hurt my sore ear first.’ Then he goes over and picks up One-round Poppy the same as if he weighed sixty-two pounds and starts for the door with him. “Where you goin’ with that baloney?” I howls, running after him. “To a doctor,” Joe says hoarsely.. “1 hit a bad man out’n Montana once and killed him.” And would you believe me, that simp GENDER. 595 walks right out onto Sixth Avenue carrying that big piece of pork in his arms, and when we arrives at the nearest doctor’s office, I thinks half of New~York is following us. The doc takes one look at Poppy and starts to work. When they gets him out of the land of dreams, they finds his jaw is fractured and four of his teeth is knocked out. Later, Joe cries and tells me his sore ear was to blame. When I asks him about the ear, he says a wild bronco kicked him there four years ago and he ain’t never got over it. And for the first time I sees just what is the matter with his face; the whole left side of it looks kinda dented in, and the wild horse explains it. ‘‘ Listen,” I says, awed by this structural steel works, “‘ did you kill that durned cow- pony?”’ “No,” he says with a little smile, “I never hurt nothing in my life. I broke it and it was the best little runner on the whole range.” Laugh that-one into a balloon and wait for the fall. Ty. SOME weeks later, in the deep despair, I arranges a match between my boy and Lefty Kard, a third-rate heavyweight, for a purse as our share of so little we couldn’t never expect to count it. Days and nights I has tried to make a fighter of Joe Gender —and can’t do a thing with him. The more he boxes and the more he trains the worse he gets. I has sparring partner after sparring part- ner go up against him in Handle’s gym, and they don’t do nothing only smack him ali over the floor; and Joe don’t do nothing only keep telling them to lay off’n his sore ear, as he don’t want to hurt nobody. If this guy knows anything about boxing, then I is trained to become president of the U. S. A. Hours I spends talking to Joe and telling him he has got to learn how to de- fend himself; hours I tries to teach him the shifty footwork and the elusive jaw; but I can’t do nothing with him, and when Lefty Kard’s manager is looking for some tough-nut for Left to crack round the floor for a.few rounds to get him in shape for a COMME OOO KSaeC)