Argosy All-Story Weekly — page 96: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

726 some Romeo in shirt-sleeves and suspenders, whence my considerate fiancé plucked me to hurry me along outside and up several hundred inclines. We at last emerged at the top tier and sat down. “Well, we got here in time,” remarked Sid, satisfied with himself. ‘Oh, did we?” I answered, too tired to think of anything snappier to say. I squinted around at the big circle of seats, full of white shirted johns that looked like rows of pop corn, with the red and blue and yellow of the girls’ dresses bobbing up bright against them. Soda boys was going up and down the steps like white ants climbing an ant hill, and they was a big hum of conversation all around, conversa- tion and fanning and heat. Oh, boy! If this was baseball I’d love to attend a coal heaver's picnic in the Big Hot Place. ‘“ But anyhow, Sid,” I begin, endeavoring to be agreeable, ‘“‘ anyhow we’re out in the nice, fresh air, ain’t we?”’ Sid was busy with his score card. I waved away a cloud of mixed Lucky Strike, Chesterfield and dock weed smoke that was coming my direction, and smiled, congratu- lating myself on keeping my temper. “Oh, Sid!” I whispered soft, after a couple minutes. “1 was just thinking it would be cuter to have fumed oak in the sitting room instead of mahogany.” “Yeh?” said Sid, not looking at me but addressing a perfect stranger on the other side of him. ‘‘ Yeh? Jones going to pitch to-day? J had an idea Hoyt would be on the mound.” I was silent. They is times when it’s best. Then a lot of guys begin walking out on the field and Sid left off conversing with his new friend and watched them. “Sid,” I commenced again, resolving to show a little interest in the game for his sake, “‘ is that big tall man a—a Giant?” ‘The Yanks is playing to-day,” he told me, impatient. ‘‘ Not the Giants.” “Oh,” I returned. “And which ones are the Yanks?” ‘The ones in white,” he said. ‘“‘ Home team always wears white, visiting team, gray.” “T see,” I come back with great intelli- gence. ‘Of course a visiting team would ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY, wear gray so the dirt won’t show till they can get back to the home laundry.” Some rubes sitting behind us began to snicker, and Sid got as red as a radish. “Don’t talk,” he ordered, grumpy. “Watch the game.” But everybody was talking and yelling out to the boys on the field like they had knowed them from infancy. ‘“Meusel old kid,” they’d encourage, “watch ’em, boy. Watch ’em coming. Make ’em give yuh what yuh want, kid. Wait for the right one. Now, swat it!” I couldn’t exactly get the drift of what was going on, but the fellow alongside Sid give him a crack on the shoulder and shouted, “ My gootness! Two strikes on Meusel. He vill fan himself, all right.” ““T should think he would in this weath- er,” I commented. The two rubes in back of us pulled another hee-haw. “Little blondie knows all about base- ball,” they tittered low, but Sid heard them and got redder yet. “Sid,” I said, “are you going to stand for them two guys insulting me like that?” ‘“‘ Aw, Irene!” he yelped. ‘‘ Cut it out —honey.” “You don’t have to add ‘honey,’” I told him. “The way you act nobody’d know I was your fiancée, so you don’t have to call me no nice names.”’ “Now, listen, dear,” he commenced, gentle, then rose up in his seat. “A homer! Nope, just fell short of the bleachers.” He sat down again. I put my arm through his. After all, he was a sweet kid. : ““ Siddie boy,” I suggested, “‘ if you don’t. want to talk about nothing else, why, we’ll talk about baseball. Tell me, I want to know why that man that stands back of that man that stands back of the man with the bat should sometimes yell out ‘ strike’ and sometimes ‘ball.’ <Ain’t the ball a ‘ball’ no matter where it goes? It ain’t no tomato, is it? And why does he cail it a ‘strike’ when the fellow only hits at it? Why, if a lady with a black eye told the judge her husband struck her, it wouldn’t mean he struck at her and missed. I certainly can’t see no sense in this game.” Gomicdooks.co