Argosy All-Story Weekly, April 4, 1925 — page 149: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

fs a By THOMAS THURSDAY - HERE’S a boob born every minute! The above contribution to art and literature was dashed off by a rising young chap, named Phineas Taylor Barnum, who prowled around this earth years ago passing out amuse- ment and apple-sauce by the bushel. At about the same time this jovial genius also dipped his pen in some elder- berry juice and added the following olio to the aforementioned gem: The American people like to be fooled! Millions of gentle and ungentle folks are still inclined to believe that Professor Bar- num was inspired to write these wise- cracks by a close association with Mr. and Mrs. General Public. Speaking of the above ginspirations, as we are going to do, you may perish, kill and otherwise annihi- late the illusion! Monsieur Barnum did not get his ideas from studving the dear and expensive public. He got ’em anywhere, from close scrutiny of his feilow showmen, and if that’s wrong then Babe Ruth never used a baseball bat! For our text to-day, and positive proof of the above raving, let us take Joe Sweeney, Clem Clinker, and the party of the third part, the same being yours very truly. If vou have a half hour to spare, stick around and maybe we'll have a little sport and fun. ‘There was plenty of amuse- ment, but at this moment /’m just begin- ning to see it: At the time this act opens the World of Joy Carnival had closed the season at the urgent request of a bevy of sheriffs, leaving me and Joe doing a Robinson Cru- soe: in plain English, busted and stranded. The trick was originally booked for a solid twenty-six weeks but, owing to absentee business, it lasted for a mere fifteen, then took a nose dive into bankruptcy. Salaries had been paid in gilt-edged promises for the last two weeks and even the gilt wore off, giving me and Joseph a clear and macada- mized road to the almshouse. Naturally, when the show “blew” it had to perform the stunt in a town with the tasty title of Goldstream, Kansas. Sitting on the post 939 COMICOOok