Argosy All-Story Weekly, April 4, 1925 — page 155: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WORLD-BEATERS,. ha!)—halts in his mysterious pacing and faces the audience dramatically. After which he starts off with a peach of a lec- ture about hypnotism, science, physics, and assorted apple-sauce. How Joe dug up the lecture is still a mystery to me. However, it certainly was a riot! He used words that even the dictionary wasn’t big enough to hold without busting. ‘And so, ladees-s and gentle-mun-n,” concludes Joe, with a great flourish of hands, ‘‘ I shall now proceed to experiment with this brave son of your beautiful vil- lage, this remarkably fine character, known to you all as Mr. Clem Clinker!” Clem sidles over to Joe, looking pale around the chin. ‘“T feel kinda dizzy,” he whispers. ‘Shut up, and keep still!” hisses Joe, edging near Clem. Then, turning to the customers, he says: ‘‘ Mr. Clinker has just requested me to ask all you folks to wish him well—er—in case this experiment in the interest of science does not come out successfully.” At that Clem turns a little paler, and edges toward the side wall. I head ’im off promptly. ‘Don’t be a nut,” I buzzes in his ear. “Think of the big money you’re gonna get.” “Things don’t look right to me,” he whimpers. ‘‘ Suppose when I get down in that there hole a cyclone comes along and blows everybody away; how ’m I gonna get out again, hey?” ‘Step this way, my dear Mr. Clinker,” booms Joe. ‘‘I am about to place you in a state of hypnosis. Soon as you are un- conscious of your surroundings, you shall be deposited in that wooden box, lowered in that excavation, and shall remain there until eleven o’clock next Saturday night. At that time, I shall have you exhumed before a large audience, revive you, and then we can tell whether or not our experi- ment is a success or a failure. If You are still alive and well, I shall add my name and yours to the honor roll of science and achievement. Now, then, Mr. Clinker, look me in the eyes. Attention!” Then the fun begins. Although he had been rehearsed in the 10 A 945 act fifty times, Clem stands before Joe and blinks like a tomcat. “You are about to pass into a deep hypnotic sleep,” intones Joe, making passes at Clem with his hands. ‘“ Sleep, sleep, I ‘“ Now?” asks Clem, wiggling his nose. At that Joe steps up close to him and snaps, ‘“ Swoon away, you fathead! D’ yer wanna queer the act?” Clem swoons. He flops backward, and I grab ’1m just as he was about to take a header into the hole. “Good!” says Joe to the audience. “ The subject is now in a perfect state of hyp- nosis, and he will remain in that state until I revive him next Saturday. My assistant and I will now place him in the box and lower him in the earth.” We do that. We also proceed to cover it with dirt, then Joe takes the first peek down the shaft to see how Clem looked. Evidently, he didn’t look so good. ‘“Keep your eyes shut!” buzzes Joe down the shaft. ‘‘ You’re supposed to be fast asleep, remember.” Then, turning to the audience, he says: ‘I now invite the audience to file up front and view Mr. Clinker through the shaft as he lies quiet and peaceful in the deep sleep of hypnosis. One at a time, please, one at a time.” The customers come forward, take a look, then return to their seats. ‘“ Now, remembah, ladies and gentlemen,” says Joe, ‘‘ this exhibit will last all week. You're invited to come in here each day and see how the subject progresses. Er— use the front entrances on your way out, and thank you for your kind attention.” And so— But let’s hop into the last chapter and get it over with. IV. Durinc the rest of the week we packed ’em in the show fast and. furious. Each time the audience departed, we let Clem wiggle out through the shaft and hid him in the dressing tent. On the second day, he demanded to know how much he was gonna receive for all his hard work. We slips him a couple of dol- lars In advance and thought that would lDOOIK