Argosy All-Story Weekly, February 12, 1927 — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE “ Time passed; another letter come, and it seemed he was put out with me. He was still on the outs with father; never got over the way he was treated as a boy. And to this letter [ wrote him a real stiff reply. Told him the Bible threatened children that deserted their parents. That he had no business to harbor resentment against an old, dying man, who had brought him into the world. Told him to come home like a man and make his peace, and that it wasn’t decent to leave me alone to bear all the brunt. I never heard a word since; and that was more’n twenty year ago.” George Bangs nodded. “I get you, lady! You want I should come and pass myself off as Brother William. Is that it?” “That was in my mind,” admitted Mrs. Sproul. ‘ You’d have a right there, as co- heir with me of the old homestead. Ernest could not turn you out. And [ figured, if I could get a man mean enough to drive him to distraction, he’d up and leave of his own accord. And to such a man I’d give the very best sort of a home; a warm bed, all he could eat of the best home-cooked victuals, attention if he was sick, and no work to do.” “Sounds right in my line,” admitted George. “I'd just admire to prove to you how mean I can be when [I set out! But I couldn’t pass myself off as your brother in a small town. I probably don’t look like him, to begin with.” “Who’s going to remember how a boy looked thirty years ago? Or how much he’d change, cruising all over the world? My husband never clapped eyes on him; I told you he was a newcomer.: Most of the old folks that could remember William, are dead and buried years back. The rest of ’em is wandering in their wits. If I rec- ognized you and accepted you as my brother, who is there to dispute it?” George scratched one ear. The notion appealed to him. He liked good food and a warm bed, with nothing to do in return. He could save his pension money almost intact. And above all, he could establish his claims to the Mean Man’s Champion- ship. It would be both safe and amusing to exercise aus ingenwily. on - Mr. Ernest — . AE RTT MEANEST MAN. ol Sproul, himself a man of no small pre- tensions to meanness, if this old dame spoke the truth! His musing was interrupted by her voice. “ But somehow, I can’t figure you out as really mean at all! Your mean acts seem sort of triflin’. Like what you said about the policemen, and when the law was passed that they must all wear white cotton gloves, and pay for ’em themselves, . and you went around and greased all the. neighborhood doorknobs, so that when at: night the police went around to try if the doors was locked, they all spoiled their gloves and had to buy new. was just like a schoolboy! Same idea as smokin’ the teacher out at district school; or throwin’ spitballs.” George looked grieved and depressed; but before. he could defend himself, Mrs. Sproul added: said. I might get me a real, sure-enough mean man, and find him so low-down that. he’d drive me away from home instead of my husband! You seem sort of innocent- like to me. What I mean is, there’s some- thing pathetic about you. Like a boy. that never growed up. And I’d feel safe to have you in the house. I guess I can’t have ev- erything just as I want, and must take. a’ chance with you. If you fail me, and can’t think up mean things enough to do to drive Ernest away, then I'll have to let you go and advertise again.” So it was settled. Being penniless, George suggested a little money in advance,. and to his surprise, Mrs. Sproul did not object. “I shall pay you fifteen dollars a week, besides your keep,” she said. “And VP give you five on account of the first week, now.” George pocketed the five. “But how about clothes?” he ied “Tve got nothing but what I stand in. Your brother would have some sort of a kit with him. He wouldn’t come empty- handed!” Mrs. Sproul agreed; but she refused to hand over to him a sum for his outfitting. Instead, she offered to. go with him and buy whatever seemed needed; and rather os on = Now. that ‘Still, there’s this to be. unwillingly, ae ded her up Atlante ee