Argosy All-Story Weekly, Vol. 189, No. 4 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

506 Are You Tired of the Clamor, the Clatter, the Crime, the Grind? “And how!” Teddy murmured. Would You Like to Get Back to the Eternal Verities, the Sweet Simplicities? “Would I!” Teddy breathed. Then Come to Arcadia-On-Ooglagoochee, the Sun-Blest Land of Promise and Oppor- tunity on the Benevolent Bay of Biscayne, in the Heart of Florida’s Wonderland, the Fertile Everglades! Make for Yourself a Place in the Sun, a Fortress of Happiness on America’s Last Frontier! Be the Master of Your Fate, the Captain of Your Soul With Your Own Plantation Where Oranges and Flowers and the World’s Finest To- matoes Grow the Year ’Round! Arcadia-On-Ooglagoochee—Ah— Come to the Land of June Breezes and Flowers— | From Frostbite to Sunburn in Thirty-Six Hours! A Free Life Insurance Policy With Every Lot! Act now! “Why think of looking any farther?” Teddy murmured. IV, SOME one, whose identity has yet to be established, had some time prior to Teddy Armbister’s arrival in the land of grapefruit, sand, sunshine and alligators, inserted a long, sharp pin in the Florida real estate bubble, and when Teddy arrived in Miami, the first impression he gathered was that every person he saw had recently been be- reft of the one whom he loved most dearly. Sufficient time had elapsed since the bub- ble’s collapse for the hair-tearing and teeth- gnashing to be practically over with, and all of Florida had settled down to an in- tensive mourning over the possession of countless scraps of paper—first, second, third, fourth and fifth mortgages, on which neither time payments nor interest would soon be paid. ~A man who possessed cash with which to buy real estate was physically unsafe in Mi- ami in those days. And when Teddy blithe- ly announced that he wished to purchase property, a benevolent individual took him aside and said: “ Young feller, if I was in your boots, I’d ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. smile when I said that. Down here in Flor- ida those are shooting words.”’ “But I really want to buy a piece of property,” Teddy protested. “T’ve got some of the choicest lots in Miami,” his mentor promptly assured him. “Tf you will rent a car, I will gladly pay its rental out of your down payment.” “IT want land in Arcadia-on-Oogla- goochee not in Miami,” was Teddy’s disap- pointing answer. He was sorry for the kindly stranger, if, for no other reason, because the kindly stranger’s shoes were entirely without soles; but his pity changed to another emotion when, at his hotel that afternoon, eighteen high-pressure real estate salesmen, all in need of haircuts, stormed in on him with choice land in Arcadia-on-Ooglagoochee to sell—at rock-bottom prices. Conditions are different in Florida now. The populace has recovered from the gib- bering panic of those ghastly days. On every hand are to be found optimists who declare that Florida is preparing to stage a wonderful comeback-—“ After all the money we've spent on improvements down here, it’s bound to come back.” But when Teddy Armbister arrived, con- ditions were comparable only to those on a sinking ship with disabled engines at the mercy of a typhoon with lifebelts gone and all the boats reduced to kindling wood. Of the eighteen high-power salesmen, one had at one time been a pugilist, and per- haps out of respect of his dangerous past, to him fell the honor of escorting Teddy to the region of perpetual grapefruit, flowers and tomatoes. That business errand bore a resemblance to a parade—or a funeral. Harry Cudlip’s—the pugilist—car led the way. A wolfish procession of fifteen fol- lowed close behind. It was a long, warm drive relieved by the passionate intensity with which Battling Cudlip tried to sell Florida real estate sight unseen. The more exotic of Miami’s sub- urban developments, with their Spanish architecture and deserted Venetian canals, were presently left arear. To the leit now shimmered Biscayne Bay and to the right stretched the Everglades. Teddy Armbister was soon permitted to S 900 comic 20