Argosy All-Story Weekly — "Sea Marauders" — page 99: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a KNOCKED OUT WHERE THE WEST BEGINS. 521 “That’s oke with me,” says Two- Punch. “ But never mind bringing any leading lady to play the part of Anna- belle Custer. I have already booked a peach of a girl.” “Forget her!” snaps Lorraine. “I will get you a real actress.” This gets my socker the bit red- headed. “Listen, feller,’ he sizzles, “ I guess you didn’t hear me. I remarks that I have already got a good leading lady and I mean exactly that!” “Oh, all right, then,” says Lorraine, piping down. “I merely wished to be of service. Well, see you to-morrow!” Early next morning Lloyd Lorraine enters our suite, accompanied by a fine flock of lads and lassies, which he pro- ceeds to introduce to ‘Two-Punch Simpson. “These folks,’ concludes Lorraine, “are all veteran troupers, and they should make a wonderful picture out of ‘Whispering Cactus.’ Er—when shall we start shooting it?” “Right now,” I begs, “‘ and please do it with machine guns.” “ Report here to-morrow morning,” says [wo-Punch, ignoring my sound advice, ““and we will go out on loca- tion. How long will it take?” “Oh, about two-three weeks,” says Lorraine. “It depends upon the weather.” After the bunch had left, I begged Two-Punch to call the whole thing off, but in reply he called me assorted saps, chumps, kill-joys, sour-grapes, or what have you. “ You are due to lose a load of hard- earned sugar,’ I goes on. “ Meantime, Mex Logan is dangling a purse of fifty thou’ before your eyes, and all you got to do to grab it is to upset Hit-and-Run Harris during a _ ten- round brawl.” “T will flatten Harris,” says T'wo- Punch, “ when I get through making ‘Whispering Cactus,’ and not before. ~ Just now I am interested in producing the world’s best Western fillum.”’ “You mean,” I corrects, “ that you are interested in producing a diamond- studded sap out of yourself. Why—” “Tf I crave any more cluck advice _ from you,” he bellers, “ I will send you a telegram to that effect. I know what I am doing, and Lloyd Lorraine also knows his onions.” Speaking of Lloyd Lorraine, I'wo- Punch was right; he sure knew his parsnips. If you doubt it, stick around awhile, and watch the flop of the cen- tury! IV. A’ LITTLE over two weeks later, Two-Punch chestily announces to me that they have finished shooting “Whispering Cactus.” “It’s a nice day,” I says in reply, “and I think I will go foraride. Er— how much did the whole mess set you back ?” “Tt ain’t no mess!’ he yelps, a bit temperamental. ‘“‘ And it only cost me around twenty thou to put over. Why, I should be able to get that much for the New York State rights alone.” “Well, what’s your next move?” “We will give i preview at a studio I have rented, and show the exhibitors and brokers what a gem we have. I am leaving that part to Lorraine; he says he will get some big guys to come down and look it over. “When they see what a knock-out it is, I should grab off about a hundred grand on the investment. That’s a whole lot better than accepting Ike Smith’s paltry twenty-five, ain’t it?” “It’s a nice day,” I repeats, ‘‘ and I think I will go for a ride. When did you say you was going to show the preview?” “To-morrow morning, at ten sharp,’ he says. “If you wanna see a real fillum, come around and get a slant at ‘ Whispering Cactus.’ ” Being somewhat curious to see what sort of piffle my prize glove-glammer . had foisted on a unsuspecting public, I went around to his trap the next morn- as b haut f i LINAS Neh. BME OAR Tex) ae Paths Sin +s ‘ : .