Argosy All-Story Weekly, Vol. 123, No. 3 — page 122: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

404 “Valerie, dear, my dearest, do you care? Are you afraid?” ce No.” “ Because you love me!” “‘ No, because I don’t!” He freed her with a groan and struck the back of his hand across his eyes, as if he tried to clear his vision. “* Do you want me to lie to you, George?”’ “‘ No—yes—lI don’t care whether it’s true or not. I only want you to say you care for me.” “ You know that I like you tremendously. I’d rather be with you than with any one.” “Damn the liking! It isn’t that I want. Valerie, you stone-hearted, beautiful image of a woman, haven’t you ever been touched . ‘by that feeling of emptiness that grows stronger when you’re with the person you love; and a pain that grows in you till your eyes are misty?” “It’s somewhere between homesickness and seasickness, isn’t it?” He stiffened a little. “Don’t you see?” she said quickly. “< It’s because I do know what it is that I tell you I won’t go with you.” | “Who was the man? John Smith?” “Don’t be ironical. He was the man. You see, if. this love that you talk about so much is to live, it has to be an exchange. It can’t come entirely from one side. I know. Just before we were married and just after, it was the real thing.. I loved him; he loved me; and that changed the world. To see him was happiness—that sharp kind with the hurt in it. I was so happy that the tears used to come into my eyes.” She paused, and then glanced slowly toward Van Siebert with a rather twisted smile. “Tt didn’t last long. It went out in me, suddenly, one day, as a wind will snuff a candle; and ever since I’ve been like some one in the dark. But.John still cares for me; he lives with the great illusiqn. No, I don’t pretend with him, any more, but he takes me for granted and he’s happy as I .used to be. Do you think I could rob him of that? I’d rather commit mur- der! When the thing dies in him—then I'll go and we'll try the big adventure to- Digitized by Google ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. gether. It won’t be the old star-sto joy, but at least I could never be life -with you.” Van Siebert was afire. “You're waiting for it to die in him? Good heavens, Valerie, don’t you know that it’s: been dead in him these many long months?’ “That isn’t the white sort of fib, George.” “Come, come, Valerie, you know I wouldn't misrepresent. I'll tell you exactly what I know. Gad! to think that you've been blind to it! Well it was a good month ago that I walked in on John in the library. I had on a pair of English walking-shoes— the rubber-soled kind, you kiow—and I suppose I didn’t make much sound. He was half turned away from me, with his head resting on one hand and the fingers digging into his hair, and I heard him sigh. When I stepped closer I saw that he held a picture on his knee, and it was a girl’s face—”’ | There was a joyous cry from Valerie. “It’s true! It’s true! It’s true!” she said. “ Those absent-minded moods of his lately! Wasn’t I blind not to guess! Dear old John, I know he’ll be happy with her. Still—it may not have meant anything.” “‘ But it did, most certainly,” urged Van Siebert. ‘ When he saw me he caught up the picture and slipped it back into his breast pocket. And then I saw the picture was in that old pigskin case which he car- ries about with him always—you know the one?” “Yes, yes! He’s never without it!” _ “Also he tried to cover his embarrass- ment by making conversation; and you know that’s rare in John.” “‘ Think of it! Here I’ve been torturing myself to keep from hurting John; and John has been in misery. to keep from hurt- ing me, and all the time—’’ She broke off into a merry laughter. ““Then you'll go?” cried Van Siebert, though his voice lowered to a stealthy mur- mur. : “Go? “Yes, now, this moment! Go? Will a prisoner go from a prison? Go? I’ve only to slip the leash, George, and I could love you with all my heart. ‘I’ve <S Original froma THE OHIO STATE UI Sor (GC JOO CO