Argosy and Railroad Man's Magazine, Vol. 107 No. 3 — page 181: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SHE WAS TIRED OF BEING CREMATED. behind the scenes, at each appearance — bringing on a twelve-quart pail of water in each hand. Lifting a pail dexterously, Hig- gins the Great eased ‘its rim into the funnel bowl—and poured. Caroline, safely ensconced inside the ark, unstrapped herself from the rear door and rubbed as best she could the bruises made by the straps. How pesky things smelt in the narrow confines of her prison! It must have been the menagerie packed tightly into the end hoods of the contrivance. She released the miniature doors at either end of her coffinlike container, and, one by one, the furred and feathered occupants of the end compartments joined her. Rabbits, Cogs, cats, chickens, geese—the place be- came a veritable barnyard. Came the flood! Now, a properly constructed Noah’s Ark intended for magical purposes boasts of a hollow leg—the one directly under the hole in which the funnel is inserted. Higgins’s newly acquired ark was equipped with this necessary adjunct, as rehearsals had proved, but— Caroline twisted her head and watched the inch-thick stream of water from Hig’s first bucket playfully descend straight for the hollow leg, whence, normally, it should have found natural outlet through a hole in the stage to a vessel placed beneath. But things weren’t going normally this afternoon, for, just as playfully as the stream had descended, did it hesitate, as the hollow leg overflowed, and gradually spread itself over the ark’s flooring on which she lay. “ The leg’s plugged!” she exclaimed soft- ly, and apprehensively she awaited the com- _ Ing of the second bucketful. Its advent more than verified her finding. She pulled up her skirts and tried to sup- port herself on the balls of her thin-soled pumps. The costume she wore was a cling- ing, silken affair, and she knew it wouldn’t stand wetting. What should she do? Halt the show by letting Hig know something was wrong? Descended a third pailful of aqua pura. “The darned thing is water-tight!”’ she was bound to confess, as she watched the liquid reach a two-inch level. 520 Hig must have become excited, or else the whole behind-the-scenes force was as- sisting him, for, in rapid succession, came gallon after gallon of water through the funnel spout. Her ankles suddenly grew chill, and she knew it had risen that high. With a shrill meow! a cat leaped to her shoulder. More water, and yet more. A duck quacked gleefully as it swam about. ‘“‘ Hig!” she whispered softly, yet with force. ‘“ Hig!” For answer came another torrent. “Tl be drowned!”’ she realized in mor- tal terror. ‘‘ Why doesn’t he stop and be- gin producing the animals?’ Oh, for a Mount Ararat!”’ The water was fast reaching the level of her knees. The animals were huddled in her lap, on her shoulders—those too small to keep their nostrils in the air. She could stand it no longer—spoil the show or not. ‘“ Hig!” she screamed, with all the pent fury of a trapped wildcat. (<4 Hig! ) No reply, save another avalanche. “It’s sound-proof, too! Hig! Open the door! I’m drowning! Let me out!”’ She paused for breath. For an instant she recalled the wetting of her hat plume the Sunday before. That had been as nothing to her present predicament. Why didn’t he answer? The truth was, he had gone for more water; for the audience liked the jokes he cracked as he poured in each additional pailful. He had four more jokes on tap. Talk about putting over an old stunt in a new way! | Hig returned to the stage with two more brimming buckets. What was that? He thought he heard a sound from inside the ark. Could Caroline be signaling him? Suddenly the whole contrivance—the ark and the legs supporting it—began rocking frightfully. enon in astonishment. Then it rocked too far, and straight toward the auditorium it toppled. A door burst open. A flood of water coursed toward the footlights. The mu- Sicians in the orchestra pit ducked to evade a waterfall. Chickens, ducks, cats, guinea- pigs, a bull pup—flew, quacked, sprang, Higgins regarded the phenom- ° NOO = A Co S Co mM