Argosy, Vol. 120, No. 1 — page 81: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BUTT OF NEPTUNE’S JEST. angrier when their wives open the eye sluices, and can even assume the courage to growl the harder or even to resort to vulgar profanity. A very few strong men can beat their wives for such resort to ar- gument otherwise unanswerable. A few more can put on hats and coats and slam ‘the door very loud as they depart from the vale of tears. But these methods apply only to wives, and, even at that, are only to be undertaken by men who have proven to themselves that they are strong far above their broth- ers, or are firmly fortified by ample stimu- lation. For most wives, and for all other women, there is only one plan of action in usage. As a general rule, no matter how you feel about it, take the fearful one in your arms and assuage her grief by such caresses as your relation to her may permit, and by promising anything likely to cheer the pa- tient up. Dan swept the ‘midship’s deck with his eye. Inasmuch as, at that time of day, it was the sunniest, most breezeless portion of the ship, it was quite deserted for the moment. He gave one hesitant look into her swimming eyes—and was lost. In spite of her slip in calling his first name, he was tremendously delicate about it, quite frightened at his own boldness, as he slid a trembling arm half around her waist and drew her shyly toward the middle of the after deckhouse’s front, where the coal-hatch provided a seat and the wall shut off the sun’s rays and any prying glances of the sailors standing about the after deck. Dan’s experience along such lines was absolutely nil. He patted her shoulder as gently as his sailor hand could do it. He could think of nothing in the world to say but: ‘ There—thére, now—now, don’t cry —there—there.”’ There was nothing strikingly original about his use of this formula. We suspect that Adam soothed Eve with the same bit of eloquence in whatever language was uni- versal before the Babel: affair. It is trite from long usage, and it would look absurd- ly monotonous if any attempt were made to print it as it is usually repeated. But 71 it generally produces the results if contin- ued faithfully. The girl’s somewhat hysterical sobbing grew less and -less violent; she dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief, and finally . got them into condition to look up with, and managed a sort of smile. Then she pulled herself the rest of the way together with a jerk, as it flashed upon her that her tears had got her into a position a long way in advance of that normally covered by a proper courtship in a lot more time than they had-known each other. “* How silly of me!” she exclaimed, still with a little of the sob in her voice. “I didn’t know I could be so stupid. But— but—oh, I wanted you to stick to the Ship. And—”’ ‘* But,” Dan argued, instantly on the de- fensive, “how can I stick to the ship, if your father doesn’t want me? I, told him—?”’ ‘‘Qh, you can’t understand,” she spoke sorrowfully, seeing the hopelessness of the thing, even as he saw it—“ I can’t blame you—as I did the others. They knew he wasn’t well—knew he said things he didn’t mean. He doesn’t want you to leave. Oh, if I’d only had the doctor when we were in Frisco! But he didn’t seem so bad, until we got down here in tropical waters. He wasn’t any worse there, before—not down through the Indian Ocean and the other side of the Pacific. “He did stay in his room sometimes, then—sometimes when he would surely have been out if he was well. But now— if I thought I could get him to give up the ship and start straight for home, I’d do it. I don’t know what’s to become of us. I— I thought you’d be able to handle the ap and all, even without him. But—” al But it’s a lot harder with him than it would..be without him,” Dan put in. ‘“What do those squareheads out there think of me now? How can I handle them after they’ve heard the captain talk as he did? Don’t you see?” Slowly she got up. She held out her hand toward him, a brave attempt at a smile on her face. “Yes, I see. It was too much to ask of you. I—I was foolish to hope as I did. -CORAIELOOO S C@