Argosy All-Story Weekly, March 15, 1924 — page 44: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

about that last. Now that I had got a clear Jook at that transaction, it kind of lookey, Dboneheaded to me. . Well, after this little trip on the mental merry-go-round, I turned to Lizzie again. { was indulgin’ myself a little freer than I might have done in these here little mental whirls if anybody but Lizzie had been set- tin’ there. on my front porch. Lizzie was all right enough in her way, but it was her wey that I objected to—especially her way where Sadie was concerned. I guess it is needless to say by now that I was for Sadie, and when I am for a person the bar- riers is all burned away. “In what manner or fashion can I be of - assistance to you, Mrs. Fraser?” says I; and in my dignity I could feel a cool draft ‘blowin’ through the heat of the night. Lizzie must have felt it, too, for she come round in her chair with a jerk and give a shrug like somebody had dropped a piece of ice down her back. “ Well,” she says, “I admire your sang- froid, Hill. Do you not realize that this is a matter of life and death to me? If my boy is disgraced, | ‘Shall die. I shall simply die.” “Most folks die simple,” says I, “ ‘less they get run over. by a truck. I don’t think the end is in sight for you yet, Lizzié. However, how can I serve you?” “Vou can go down to the beach and watch that person, and report to me as soon as she does something which will give my boy grounds to bring suit for divorce, ” she shaps.- It was enough ~ TO éa goat laugh, Jimmie wouldn’t no more have “thought of suing Sadie for divorce than he would have thought of shooting her. But J didn’t laugh. Lizzie. I just sat and considered these matters for a space while Lizzie watched me out of the corner of her eye. Of course if I had any job in this matter it was to patch up the differences between Sadie and Jim- mie, I wished most heartily that I could ‘do that. JI would have liked to get them straightened out so that. they would have the joy they was entitled to in nature. They was nice young folks, both past. I wasn’t there to tip nothing off to ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. of them, and it did seem a pity to me that they should be sundered this way. I hadn’t had’ no experience along this patching up line, and I didn’t know how a fat old man would go about it. However, as I knew I would do at the start, I finally come to the conclusion that I w ould butt in, “Mrs, Fraser,” says I, “I will take this job. ”? “It’s about time,” Lizzie snorts. course you will have to be careful. I know this is not in your line of work. It is not like solving murder mysteries, as people say you have sometimes solved ‘them in the This is a matter to be handled with the utmost delicacy. I fear you may bun- gle your task, but there is no one else in e< Of the village who could or would accept it.” | “ Don’t knock an honest workman, Liz- zie,’ says I. “I will do the best I can.” “When will you start?” she asked. ‘“T have already started,” says I. She got up and squared her thin shoul- ders in that haughty way she had. Me, I’m human, and I didn’t like her manner now - no better than I had liked it for the last quarter century. I kind of hated to see her. get away with this thing so high and lofty. So I gets one of ‘these here inspirations. “ Lizzie,” says I, “ before you go there is a little matter we better attend to.” “Oh,” she says, “ of course. I will pay you what your work is worth. What do you you think would be right?” .— - “The town pays me a salary,” says I. ‘“T am not looking for any handouts from. ladies. However, you and me will come to a small agreement or else you can hire Somebody else for your work.” “ What is the agreement?” she asks. Tll keep an eye on Sadie,” saysI. “ Vil give you iny word whatever she does I will report back to you. If she does something that makes Jimmie sue her for divorce, all well and bad. If she does nothing out of the way, and her and Jimmie is reunited, all well and good and you go up to her and take her by the hand and apologize for hav- ing entertained mean thoughts about her.” She give me a long, slow stare with frost around the edges of it. It didn’t wither me none, however. I didn’t give a continental what she thought, felt, done, or was con- ZA COMmMiIclooe (Cc S C@