Argosy All-Story Weekly, October 25, 1924 — page 81: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

KAKAUA THE UNCONQUERED. “TJ shall change my name and emigrate to the Republic of Argentine,” replied Du- mont with simple dignity. The two men . clasped hands. “In that case,” said Tallien, ‘‘I shall accompany you. Will you look up the sail- ings and the cost of passage?” ‘“T have already done so,” said Dumont. “ But, perhaps—” ‘“T understand you,” said Dumont. ‘ But is it possible that the monster Kakaua will let this unhappy occasion pass? Not in ten thousand million years, my dear old cod- fish! With the fearless La Besse dead he will come down from the mountain with his bloodthirsty hordes—” “ His man-eating cannibals—”’ “ His hideous painted savages,” added Dumont. “ My chief, do you realize how fully we have depended on the fearless La Besse? How this department has allowed the weight of the task of keeping the un- conquered Kakaua in check for the past thirty years to rest on the shoulders of that brave warrior?” ‘“ Alas, I do, old chicken!” groaned Tal- lien. ‘‘ But what? Was it not so when we entered the Department? Did we not in- herit it from those who were here before us? ‘La Besse remains at Moturoa—all is well!’ Has that not been an axiom of the office since the days when you and I lay in our little cradles sucking our pink little toes?” ‘“ But when all the whites on Moturoa are massacred will our pink little toes be an excuse for our lack of foresight? How old was La Besse?” Tallien consulted the dossier. “ Ninety-five years, six months, seven days,” he groaned. “Qld top,” said Dumont solemnly, ‘ we are culpable.”’ ‘“T was unware he was becoming so an- cient,” said Tallien helplessly. “Tt was our business to be aware,” in- sisted Dumont, refusing to soften the facts. “The dossier was in our bureau. The tables of the Bureau of Accountancies and Actuarialities were at our disposal. We could have discovered that a man of ninety- five years, six months and seven days was capable of becoming deceased without satis- factory preliminary notice. And we have done nothing, old lemon pie, to meet such a situation.” ‘““We counted on La Besse,” said Tallien. “We always did count on him. For years the office counted on him. We counted on him, and we supported him.” ‘““ Always!” exclaimed Dumont. were aware of his situation.” ‘“He had but to ask,” went on Tallien. “Arms, gunpowder, projectiles, cartridges, swords with and without gold embossed hilts, funds for the payment of the native troops, funds for pensions for the wounded —we did support him, Dumont.” ‘““We appeared in the Senate to uphold his just demands,” said Dumont. ‘And now—this!” groaned Tallien. For several minutes Dumont twisted his mustaches and Tallien pulled at his beard. ‘““ Even if the death of the fearless La Besse has been concealed from the un- conquered monster of a Kakaua for the mo- ment, as is to be hoped,” said Dumont, ‘“‘ who would dare succeed La Besse?” ce Foch?” “I grant you his fearlessness,” said Du- mont, “but a Marshal of France would never accept the post of governor general to a minute island in the far remoteness of Oceania. There is no one! What is the pay there?” “One thousand francs per annum and supplies, with a dwelling.” ‘“ At the present rate of exchange about fifty dollars a year,” computed Dumont. “And with it the pleasure of constant war- fare with the unconquered Kakaua. I would not care for it myself.” “My dear old cauliflower,” said Tallien earnestly, “I would not give the verdigris off the outer edge of a copper sou for the job!” “There are no brave men left in this decomposed world,” added Dumont. “There is, at least, no one who would be willing to go to Moturoa for the pleasure of fighting that tattooed man-eating mur- derer at fifty dollars a year,” agreed Tallien. “ Unless,” said Dumont thoughtfully, “it might be Paradou.” For a full minute Tallien stared at Du- mont open-mouthed. Gomichbooks “ We €O