The Argosy for May — page 144: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOMETHING FOR NOTHING. you get in wrong that way there are only two things left to do: go out and drown your sorrow or yourself. You see, this girl wasn’t any common article. She was ace high, but she made me feel like-a deuce-spot when I looked at her. I’d been telling her right along we'd get hitched up, and she’d been calling on me to produce the goods in the shape of an engagement-ring. Well, what could I do? It was a cinch I couldn’t tell her how busted I was, for there’s nothing will kill love quicker; and I couldn’t give any plausible excuse about the ring, ex- cept that I hadn’t found a stone good enough for her. After that gag wore out, I told her I’d got the ring and I was having it engraved. The jeweler had been work- ing on it about a week now, and I was beginning to think he’d never get through. So was she. Well, I kept on playing cards, until I stood about three hundred out against myself; and then I was struck with a brilliant idea. No, I wasn’t going out to make a name for myself and win her. I hadn't any game to work or anything of that sort. The idea was quite common and sordid, and not at all in the class with most of them. -It was only that I remembered a friend, an old “ bar-keep,” who was the only one on my calling-list that I hadn’t touched. Of course, I couldn’t slight him; so I jumped up, having just lost another hundred to myself, and, leaving the cards as they lay, I took down my two- dollar Panama and made a noise like go- ing away. 3 The noise was very effective. My landlady rushed out with an open hand. I knew she couldn’t hurt me much with- out doubling it up, so I walked right past her and didn’t bat an eye. When I struck the street I was unde- cided. It might be well to end it all by falling through a handy man- hole. For a minute I wished that some pass- ing air-ship would drop a bag of ballast and obliterate me. But then courage came, and I decided to take my fate in my own hands. Sol Understand me right, I didn’t intend to commit suicide or matrimony. I wasn’t that desperate. that a nice little lonesome walk down on the dock would fall in well with my present mood, so I lit out for the Bat- tery. I went down on one of the steamer piers and stood around: in the way, half hoping that somebody would come along and push me off. But nobody did, and so I kept on walking around. All of a sudden I looked down. Then I looked up. After that I looked around, pretend- ing that I was searching for the Lusi- tania, or some other mere speck on the horizon, but in reality I was trying to see if anybody was watching me. Nobody was. So, with one quick lunge, I shot out my arm and _ picked it up. Then I held it up to the light and admired it. ; The stone was as pretty a one-carat diamond as I ever saw in my life. The gem was set in a ring. I slipped the thing on my little finger and flashed it in the sun. My chest got in between the sun and the ring, and I could hardly see it for being so puffed up. Well, I didn’t waste much more time on that pier. I didn’t like the scenery, anyway. What was the use of looking for the owner, I argued. Of course, the person who had lost it had sailed to Africa that morning, and foreign ad- vertising would be so expensive. Yes, I decided to keep it and not say a word to the coroner or any other of the city officials. I jumped on a car, and felt languidly in my pocket for some loose change, as though it weren’t worth the mentioning. I found it, all right. Fifteen cents was all. I looked at it with surprise, just as though I thought I had any more, ex- cept the three ones, which immediately became small change in my eyes, dazzled as they were by the diamond. It’s the surest thing you know that I got off at Mabel’s street. Some way or other, I couldn’t think of anything else. Didn’t I have the engagement - ring now, and couldn’t we hock it and get married? My luck had changed. Mabel came to the door; I went in. MICLOOOLK I just thought — (C@