The Argosy, Vol. 90 No. 1 — page 126: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

120 company with Jake’s kiln-dried throat. In the next two minutes I heard the absent gojourner consigned to more forms of eter- nal damnation than I supposed there was. Sagebrush allowed as how ‘he’d scatter him so copious they’d need a whole flock of graves to bury him in. He said he could cry with thinkin’ of the assorted things he was goin’ to do with him. And he hurled a lot more liquid into himself for to fan his unrighteous wrath. I left, plumb disgusted with his mtem- perance, alcoholic and vocal. I knew Has- well had left the hotel, an’ I wanted to warn him as a friend to get out o’ town. I went by the eatery, but Gussie was off duty, and neither of ’em was in there. I thought they might be strollin’ together, but as it turned out I was wrong. Somethin’ called me away; an’ it was about eight o’clock, with the lights all go- in’, an’ a sound of revelry by night through the town, when I went by Mangan’s again. And comin’ from the opposite direction, with some of his satanites in tow, was Sagebrush Jake, hotfooting it for the eatery. I looked in through the window. There’s the eastern party again, havin’ apparently eat his supper, and with the pippin talkin’ to him at the counter. Sagebrush is nearly there. I hustles right in with my blurb for safety first. “Say, friend, ’scuse me, but you don’t look like a trouble hunter to me, an’ Sage- brush Jake is comin’. He’s twice your size, and you can get out through the back way if you’re lively!” “Why, Uncle Pete!” gasps Gussie, while the fellow looks at me with as much expression in his face as you'll find on a slate before you figure on it. Just at that moment in came Sagebrush, who had leaped the whole three steps to once. There was three or four followers, who had come to see the fun, and whatever of the boys who was feedin’ at the tables ostriched around. Jake let out a fearsome yowl, then glared down at the fellow, who’s faced around with his elbow on the counter, Like a bull, Jake bellowed an ultimatum. ‘Say, you hammered down, wasp- THE ARGOSY. waisted, pigeon-toed misfit, I don’t like you! You’re a cinder in my eye! So it’s your move. Twenty-four hours for you to get out in, an’ ramble back where you am- bled from, or I’ll] pump you so full of lead you'll bust the car flooring goin’ back! ‘““Get me, you frosted little slab of angel- cake, what wants ‘a good room’? I'll get you a good room; it ‘ll be in the vault! You daffydowndilly, I hate your liver! I hate the mistaken offshoot of humanity what started your tribe! Don’t rile me here in this eat joint, or Ill naturally sift you for seasonin’!”’ Durin’ this speech, which Sagebrush had delivered reasonable and fair mild, out 0’ consideration for there bein’ a lady pres- ent, who, by the way, was as still as an icicle behind her counter an’ eyein’ ’em both with her orbs~extra size, the Haswell person had stood an’ took it. More than that, while Jake was thun- derin’ he’d pulled a cigar out of his vest- pocket an’ lighted it. As Sagebrush fin- ished he blew out the match an’ dropped it in a cuspidor. With every One watchin’ him, his gaze wandered for a moment to Sagebrush’s in- flamed countenance. ‘“* Aw,” he murmured, as unconcerned as a kitten who’s been reproved by a lady member of the S. P. C. A., “ go swing from a tree by your tail!” I mistrust this polite reference to the probable origin of his species was kind 0’ lost on Sagebrush. He was unused to the more polished passages of wit, as I have intimated. He just glared and breathed hard. The fellow turned to Gussie, standin’ white-faced behind the counter, an’ raised his little go-to-hell hat. ‘“‘Good evening, Miss Lindley,” he said calm, an’ walked by Jake to the door. “Hold on!” °’Twa’n’t a man’s voice. "Twas a girl’s, like a bugle. We all jumped; all but this Haswell. He turned around leisurely like and in- quirin’s You might have figured it two ways. Either he was slow thinking or he had nerve. The kind that ’d-ignore-even-a. caiifdti-cracker that ’d bust under his feet. Gussie Lindley had jumped from behind the counter an’ stood at my elbow. As oO Comicbooe S CO