The Argosy, Vol. 90 No. 1 — page 57: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MAN WHO MUST BE HANGED. spring. He crumpled the newspaper and threw it into the fire. It was not his fault that Pinhead was to be wronged—but the fault of the law. He put the whole paper on the grate and took up Hilairy’s letter. But he could not read it. He kept see- ing the face of Happy Appleby—low- browed, with eyebrows heavy as if entan- gled with burs, and the stupid expression of a bullock. The dumb beast! Lord felt very cold, and his teeth chattered. He took Hilairy’s letter again, and again could not read it. He had fully resolved not to go back—but he could never tell her. She knew that it was his fault about Pinhead. A thing like that would kill her. She would feel that he was a murderer. And he was—now. He thought he would go down-town and wait for the hour for opening the theater. When he came back he would read that letter. He was afraid of the black staircase, lest his shadow get him there, and he decided to go back. He escaped it and reached the lighted street. He felt better there. And at the theater he managed to get md of Pinhead’s face before his eyes. Pinhead had been a hired man on a farm. He had got to drinking from lack of mind, and had spent most of his time, the last year, in jail. He used to be rather happy in jail, and proud of his position of trust. He had never had any- thing other people want out of life, yet he had been satisfied because he was so in- ferior. . Lord played in the orchestra out of sight from the audience, and came on once for a solo, in elaborate disguise as a negro fid- dier. It was in such ways as this that he overcame the disadvantages of his posi- tion. Pinhead could not overcome disad- vantages. The dastardly advantage taken by the stronger overwhelmed him, as he finished his act, with shame. He was afraid to go home. When he came there at last he found Hilairy’s letter still unopened on the table. And still he could not read it. As he held it in his hand, he felt a strange recoil through him. And he saw what surprised 51 him; he would not want to marry Hilairy if he murdered Pinhead. It would be im- possible for a man who had done a thing like that to have peace with her. He would hate her. Some day he would kill her as bad men kill good women they have mar- ried, for the look out of their eyes. He was not fit, any more, to marry Hil- airy. He ought to have a woman of his own kind. And what was his kind? Some painted thing who could laugh all the time and not care what he did to get money for her; and drug him to forget! He leaped to his feet. If he did not find some respite this thing would drive him mad. He began to play on his violin some- thing that was a great favorite of his— from the “ Messiah.” But the minute he touched the strains that celebrated infinite love, there came before him that dull, ani- mal face, with the big, hairy body—the mouth half open, the wistfulness of the eyes. Christ, who loved the least and low- est—he would never be able to think of Christ again. His hands were cold, he handled the bow badly. He abandoned the “ Mes- siah ” for ‘‘ Pierrot’s Serenade.” But Hil- airy loved that, so he could not play it. He threw himself down and finally went to sleep. But he did not sleep because of a dream. The worst thing which had fiit- ted through his mind came back in that form. He thought he had married Hil- airy and she drove him wild. He thought he flew at her, he thought he was gone mad and his hands were on her throat. He sat up in the dark, in the pretty room prepared for her. The dream had been hell; and he was still in hell. Then suddenly the thing he had most feared came. ‘The shadow he had been dreading leaped and fastened itself. First came the thought that he might still be as he had been before, if he would go back to Queen City and clear Pinhead. Then he wondered why he did not settle it that way and escape the hell of the past few hours. As he wondered, he was lost. The shadow had him; he had resolved to give himself up. And the relief was so great that he could never reverse his deci- sion, comicbool< CO