Argosy, Vol. 123, No. 1 — page 71: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NEW STUFF “speed is absolutely necessary in the raid we’re about to conduct. We got to get all that stuff out of the flat before it occurs to anybody to call a cop. Every article has got to be sold on the second bid, and the guy that buys it has got to start down- stairs with it as soon as I say ‘sold!’ Have you got me? All right; let’s try it. What am I offered for this handsome par- lor clock?” “One dollar,” says one guy. “Twol’ screeches all the rest of the gang. : | “Sold to you,” I say, pointin’ to one feller. ‘‘ That’s the idea!” . Well, fourteen strappin’ young fellers like me and my army ain’t goin to walk through the halls and up the stairs of a ordinary flat house without attractin’ a little attention. We didn’t cause no more of a sensation than an alarm of fire would. Doors began to open all over the place and out of them popped flat-dwellers of all sizes and descriptions. ‘There were men in undershirts, women in kitchen dress and young folks dolled up to go out. “ What? Why? How?” and similar questions was bein’ uttered on all sides, and, prob’ly fig- gerin’ that it was the best and easiest way of satisfyin’ their curiosity, the Elliot’s neighbors fell in behind us and joined our parade. , I grinned when I saw that. Things were breakin’ right. The sight of the familiar faces of the people who lived in the same of satisfyin’ their curiosity, the Elliots more than any words I could utter that the sale was on the level. The Elliot’s were waitin’ for us at the door. They had been attracted by the thunderin’ footsteps of my crew just like everybody else in the house. The missus makes a try at haltin’ the parade, but the rush was too great. I slip by her into the flat, the rest press after me and she’s swept back to the wall. She’s game, though. ‘““How dare you?” she screeches at me. How dare you force your way into my home? Mortimer Elliot,” she orders her husband, “ put these people out!” Elliot sees an openin’ and loses himself In the crowd. FOR ELLIOT. 61 _“ Madam,” I say, “ violence will avail you nothin’. I am here to do my duty, and I will do it no matter what. How- ever,” I add, “I will give you one more chance. If you will pay Mr. Taylor—", . ‘“Get out of my house!” she screams. ‘““ Ain’t there no man here who will kick this thug down-stairs for me?” she asks the general gatherin’. ‘““Ladies and gentlemen,” I announce, hoppin’ on a chair, ‘“‘I am here to sell certain articles of furniture to pay a debt for over four hundred dollars owed by Mor- timer Eliot to Flubb & Company. Please— everybody inside,” I request, fearin’ that the big mob in the hall will prevent my strong arms from gettin’ away with the loot. ‘ The first article I have to offer,” I say, when the hall is clear, “is a beau- tiful pitcher of apples, grapes and peaches. There it is on the wall,” I point. ‘ What am I bid?” “One buck!” screech three or four of my assistants. ‘Two bucks!” vell the rest. “Sold!” I declare, clappin’ my hands together. s _There’s a slight misunderstandin’ among the goofers as to who’s to have the honor of carryin’ out the first article. In fact, three of them are on the verge of blows, but Ed Taylor straightens the tangle out and the pitcher comes down from the wall. ‘““ Now, we have a set of four dinin’-room chairs—’’ I begin. “ Fight dollars!” shouts one of the gang. ‘“* Nine!”’ bellows another. “Sold!” I start to say, but a woman right under my chair beats me to it. “Ten!” she yells. | I nearly fell off the chair. This was a possibility that I’d overlooked entirely— the neighbors buttin’ in on the biddin’! When they’d started to follow us up the stairs I was glad—their presence supplied local color—but that any of them should take the sale as bein’ on the level, and start to pick up some bargains— ‘“‘ Madam,’ I say to the woman, “ you’re too late. That gentleman there gets the chairs.” | ‘“ But I said ten dollars—” she objects. ‘“T know you did, madam,” I acknowl- cComicboooks (©