Argosy All-Story Weekly, January 21, 1922 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE GENTLE ART OF BANDITTING. He smoked for a while in contemplative silence. I was quiet, waiting for him to open up, which he would certainly do even- tually. I was the best listener Six had, and I knew that he knew it. Given enough listeners, the world would be a happy place. The trouble is that most people want to do the talking themselves; gen- erally when you notice a rapt look on the face of a man who is listening to you, it isn’t an indication that he is interested— probably he is simply thinking of what he is going to say when you get finished talk- ing. ‘'Wimmen is, in the main, pecooliar,” he said at last. ‘I know some one has remarked on that subject before me—but anyways it’s something that each man has to find out for himself, no matter how many people warns th’ poor simp. Take a man, for instance. OS “Tf you.tell him what a holy wonder you are, it don’t mean nothin’ to him— you gotta prove it. But wit’ wimmen it’s all different; it’s enough if you tell them you’re a wonder; you don’t have to prove nothin’; in fack, it’s better if you don’t. I don’t charge you nothin’ for dis here dis- sertation on the fine points about wimmen —you get your eddication here free, gratis, an’ likewise for nothin’. Am I right, or am I wrong, as per usual?” “T take it that you are referring to Delia, Six?” I asked. He nodded. “ Not only to. Delia, but also to Windy Sanderson,” he came back morosely. . “Windy Sanderson?” I asked. “ P’r’aps you don’t know the bird,” he offered. ‘‘ Ye’ve been away for a while, haven’t your He’s one of our stage-drivers, come in a few weeks ago.” “Tall, well built, light hair, looking?” I asked. He nodded, and replied: “ He’s all o’ them things you mentioned—an’ some I could mention, but won’t, beggin’ your par- don.” | ““T-saw him just before I went away, but didn’t have a chance to speak to him,”’ I commented. “You must ’ve gone away quick, then; you don’t have to wait long forea chance good- 19 to speak to him; he takes good care of that.” ‘What about him and Delia?” I prompt-. ed. “ Aren’t things going as well between you and Delia as usual?” He shook his head. ‘“ No, I kinnot say they are; an’ what’s more, they never did,” he put in enigmatically. ‘‘ Leastwise, not so well since this here guy Windy blew in, with that long tongue of hisn an’ them good looks, which, all I kin say is, prob’ly covers an evil heart. “I’m goin’ to tell you about this guy, which the same is more or less of a secret, nobedy knowin’ anything about it except Bob Peters, Skinny Robertson, an’ your ’umble servant—wit’ Windy Sanderson himself knowin’ only about half of it, the harmless half.” . He threw away the butt of his cigaret and looked after it regretfully. ‘* Cigarets is like life, isn’t they, sir?” he offered. ‘‘ Enjoy them for a little while, an’ before you knows it they’re finished— almost before ye’ve started the darn things. Am I right, or am—” I took out my cigaret-case again, and left it out this time. ‘ You're right, Six. Have a smoke.” “ Thank you, I will, since you insist.” He helped himself to a cigaret again and puffed contentedly for a short space. ‘“Wimmen,”’ he said at last, “is one of the worst of the sexes. Now, if it wuzn’t for Delia, I’d like to have the whole female sex abolished an’ have both sexes composed of men. It might—” “You were saying something about Windy Sanderson and Delia,” I interrupted to bring him back to the track of the story I knew was in the offing. ‘“So I wuz—so I wuz,” he nodded. ‘Well, about Windy Sanderson. You see, Windy blew in, lookin’ for a job as driver of one of these here busses. Old man Win- ters give him the job, prob’ly because Slim Anson just quit on ’im, but I guess he’d ’a’ got the job anyways, if it wuz only because Winters wanted to git rid of him, he talked so much. He started talkin’ then, an’ you might say he hasn’t stopped yet. He opened the mouth that was heard round the woild. He kin drive, of course, but there’s none of comiclboooks C©