Judge, 1929-01-26 · page 19 of 34
Judge — January 26, 1929 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is Dr. Seuss's humorous take on impractical bed inventions at a 1929 furniture show. The three illustrated concepts mock absurd "improvements": 1. **Installing false teeth via slingshot**: A servant uses a footboard contraption to launch dentures at a sleeping master—satirizing over-mechanized solutions to mundane problems. 2. **Burglar-friendly ash trays under beds**: A tongue-in-cheek suggestion that making beds hospitable to burglars (with cigarette amenities) somehow benefits "old maids"—mocking paranoid security concerns. 3. **Skyscraper crib for harems**: A towering multi-story crib that expands upward, replacing ceilings with turrets as families grow—absurdly exaggerating wealth and large families. The satire targets both the era's obsession with labor-saving gadgets and the pretentious design culture of the 1920s. These "prize-winning" concepts are deliberately impractical and ridiculous, poking fun at furniture industry excess during the pre-Depression economic boom.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE A Few Bed-Bettering Suggestions Showing Three of the Prize-Winning Models at the 1929 Bed Show by Dr. Seuss Installing His Slumbering Master’s Uppers Why start the day wrong by waking up without your false teeth in your mouth? All you need is a few yards of snappy elastic, a Sling-shot Footboard, and a sure sighted marksman for a valet Old Maids! Do Burglars Hide Under Your Bed ? If not, you can encourage the practice by making the place more homelike. The Bed-leg Ash Tray is a great inducement to the boys who like to smoke during busi- ness hours, The Skyscraper Crib, for Sultans’ Nurseries Add a crib for each new addition to your family. When the ceiling is reached, have the harem carpenter replace it with a turret. comicbooks.com